


Unknown Title

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-01
Updated: 2010-01-01
Packaged: 2018-12-17 16:56:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11855826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived atStargatefan.com. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onStargateFan Archive Collection profile.





	Unknown Title

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

_Ziiiip._

_Ziiiip._

Strapping on his gear, Colonel Jack O'Neill glanced over at Daniel Jackson with some concern. The young Egyptologist was putting on his boots really slow. Daniel was not saying a word, not about the mission, not to Jack or even to Teal'c who was standing across from them in the locker room. They had received their new coordinates-P3X791 after the probe had returned with the satisfactory reports of breathable oxygen and safe atmosphere. There were also images of artifacts littered about in the room where the alien planet's Stargate lay. Normally, Daniel would be chattering away, curiosity fueling his conversation while they change into gear. Today, however, Daniel was quiet, making only sounds of the Velcro strapping his backpack and his vest. Jack glanced over to Teal'c. The Jaffa warrior looked back at Jack with a raised eyebrow. Obviously, the alien warrior had noticed it, too.

"So." Jack started, wincing at how loud his voice seems to himself, "Any thoughts on what we might find on the other side?"

Daniel looked up and blinked. He shrugged and checked his watch. "Time to head out." was all Daniel would say, and he left the locker room. He paused and turned back at his two friends. "I'll see you at the embarkation room, guys."

"Wasn't that my line?" Jack muttered as he shouldered his pack and rifle. Teal'c cocked his head slightly, not quite understanding, but Jack waved his hand. "Never mind, Teal'c. Let's go."

Daniel Jackson felt tired. His feet were dragging while his mind raced. It had been three days since he had a decent night's sleep. The dreams, no, _nightmares_ he had been having still clung to his conscious memory. It was the same dream over and over again, each detail clearer with each sleepless night. There were times he had been awaken by his own voice, screams stuck in his throat and tears down his face. _I am being foolish_ , Daniel thought as he rounded the corner. _Why now?_

The child had run screaming down the hall. The foreman couldn't catch the little boy as he ran to the collapsed pile of stones. One hand was out stretched from underneath the piles and the young boy could see the blood underneath. Buried under heavy stone, the boy couldn't see the owner of the hand, but knew there were two people beneath the rubble.

_"Mommy! Daddy!" the child sobbed, his arms were outstretched, trying to pull a rock out. Maybe he could lift the heavy stones away and see them underneath- safe and unharmed. "Don't leave me alone!"_

Daniel stopped in his tracks and blinked away tears. He savagely swiped them with his sleeve. _Come on Jackson,_ Daniel scolded himself; _you're not napping right now. Don't start having nightmares during the day, too._

The car was crushed between the other cars. He could smell the burnt rubber, the heat of metal, and the metallic iron taste of blood. He could see his foster parents in the car, but when he blinked, the passengers became a beautiful, exotic looking woman and a young man. "Sha're. Skaara." He whispered in shock. "Why are you leaving me alone, too?" He could hear the whispers of the bystanders. He was a jinx, everything he touches died-

"Daniel?"

Blinking again, gratified that there was no more embarrassing tears, Daniel looked at Captain Samantha Carter. Unknowingly, he had already arrived in the embarkation room. The astrophysicist was looking at him worriedly. 

She had already prepped up for their reconnaissance mission and was waiting for the rest of the SG-1 team to join her. To her surprise, Daniel had walked in alone, a gloomy look on his face. When Daniel looked up, Carter caught a look of despair, but before she could be sure, it was gone. 

"Where's the colonel and Teal'c?" Carter eyed the doors behind him. Daniel just shrugged, saying nothing. Usually the men came in together. She was surprised to see only Daniel straggling. The captain wondered if something had happened back in the locker room. _Come to think of it,_ Carter remembered _Daniel was pretty quiet for the past few days after we came back from that damn planet._ She shuddered at the memory. Nothing was real over there; the alien devices were feeding them illusions of memories long wished forgotten. Because of her past experience with a Tok'ra, her memories were inaccessible, but the colonel's and Daniel's- Jack had mentioned after their return that it wasn't going to be an easy night to sleep through. The colonel didn't give any specifics on what memory was dredged up, neither did Teal'c who was with the colonel at the time, but she could tell by the morning after that it resulted in a sleepless night for the colonel. Carter wondered if that was the same for Daniel. The Egyptologist was exposed to the memory of his parents' death over and over again. Carter felt a little guilty. Since their return, she had shifted automatically into scientist mode and never even realized that Daniel might not be coping as well as he had claimed to be.

Jack and Teal'c arrived to join the two, interrupting her thoughts. General Hammond in the control room gave the go to activate the Stargate. As the iris opened, the black ring whirred to ‘dial' the seven chevrons to the alien planet. Carter caught Jack stealing a concerned glance at Daniel. _I guess I wasn't the only one who realized it,_ Carter thought as the wormhole materialized in a sparkling pool of light. Jack nodded curtly and motioned the others to follow him into the Stargate. The team, without a backward glance, stepped into the Stargate.

 

The alien planet was cold. Winds howled through the exposed cracks on the stone walls of the building that housed the Stargate. The structure was immense. Jack could see winding stairs leading down to who knew where. Stone columns with strange symbols were scattered in pieces around the floor. The place felt decidedly empty with its shattered ruins of black walls and dark stone. Despite the bright light coming from flickering torches lined up against black surfaces, the place looked dark and oppressive. The colonel felt an urge to turn on his flashlight despite the lack of need for it.

Before Jack could give an order, Daniel was already down the stairs and bending over one of the fallen columns. His mouth set in a firm line, Jack held his tongue. He could wait till they returned home before he tried to get Daniel talking. 

"Colonel?" Carter whispered.

Jack glanced at the other two. "You two check the stairs on the left. Daniel and me have the right. Two hours and no more. Got it?"

Carter glanced back at Daniel worriedly. She looked over at Jack who seemed to have understood. 

"Not now, Carter." Jack murmured. "Let Daniel be occupied with his toys. We'll worry about it when we get home."

Nodding, Carter and Teal'c proceeded to the left stairway.

Daniel was trying to translate the symbols. "Arabic." He muttered, rummaging for his notebook and pencil. The seven symbols on the column were unfamiliar. Daniel could figure out the point of origin they would need to ‘dial' home but the other set… All it said was-

"New home? Reborn to save?" Daniel shook his head as he copied the symbols. 

"Got anything, Daniel?" Jack asked quietly from behind.

Daniel gasped, dropping his notebook. He hadn't heard Jack approach. The colonel just silently picked up the book and handed it back to Daniel who muttered his thanks. After a moment, Daniel spoke up.

"All I can get is that the planet was dying. Starving, actually. Nothing could be grown here any longer." Daniel pointed to a set of inscriptions in front of him. "They reborn and left to start again."

"Reborn?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Daniel squinted at the inscriptions. Even with his glasses, he could barely read the symbols. "That's what it said. These letters seem familiar. I can't place where I've seen them before. I'll have to get this back home to Earth before I can make any sense out of all of this."

Something in Daniel's voice made Jack suspect that it wasn't just the strange inscriptions Daniel wanted to make _sense_ out of. "Daniel-"

"I wonder what is down those stairs?" Daniel interrupted. He looked embarrassed all of the sudden. He made a move to the stairs but then, Jack grabbed his forearm, stopping him.

"You're not alone, Daniel." Jack said quietly. "I‘m right here. We'll go together."

Daniel's head bowed for a moment and Jack began to wonder if the man had even heard him over the howling wind.

"But that's the problem, Jack." Daniel whispered. There was a slight break in his voice. "Maybe I should be."

"What?" Jack wasn't sure he heard his friend correctly.

"Come on." Daniel shook off Jack's hand abruptly. "Let's check out those stairs." Daniel looked back at Jack; his eyes seem to plead with the colonel to leave well enough alone.

_All right Jackson,_ Jack thought as he followed Daniel down the right stairway, _I'll let it go for now._

The stairs led to a room filled with black stone columns again. There were no inscriptions on them, however. Jack rapped them with his knuckles, hearing a slight echo. The columns were hollow. One was partially open, revealing an empty compartment. Jack was about to take a closer look inside, but the image of something pulling him into it's hollow made him drop that idea.

"Wonder what they were for?" Daniel murmured as he gave a quick glance over to the columns before he scanned the walls for anything to translate.

"I rather not know." Jack muttered, "The last planet that had something like this, gave us a really bad in flight movie-"

Daniel looked at Jack with a strange look, but he turned back to the walls again before Jack could be certain. _So much for conversation,_ Jack thought. "Daniel-"

"Jack?" Daniel asked in a small voice. There was something in his tone that made Jack forget what he was going to say to the younger man. Daniel's back was still towards him.

Jack waited for Daniel to continue, not wanting to push his friend. 

"How do you handle all this death?" Daniel whispered, his gaze on the walls.

"Wha-" Jack caught himself in time. "What do you mean?"

Daniel continued as if he didn't hear, "I mean, I shot Go'uald before, but that was different. They were the enemy. It was either them or us but-" Daniel's voice dropped to a whisper, "everyone else I knew." Daniel's head bowed, his shoulders, "What about the others?"

"What others?" Jack asked quietly. At this point, Jack knew Daniel was remembering the other planet, the memories he was forced to remember. Jack realized suddenly, that Daniel had never said a word when they had returned to Earth.

"Could you, " Daniel whispered, "teach me how to forget like you?"

Suddenly, Jack found himself not knowing what to say. 

As if awaking from a dream, Daniel straightened up and shook his head. "Sorry, "Daniel muttered. "Don't know what is wrong with me." 

"Daniel-" 

"Colonel." Jack's walkie-talkie gargled out Carter's voice. Cursing to himself, Jack nearly barked into the device. 

"What is it?" Jack growled before he realized what he was doing. Calming himself, Jack continued. "What have you got, Carter?"

The device was silent for a moment, and Jack wondered if the connection was lost. "Teal'c and I found something here, sir. You need to see this." Even in the static, Jack could tell Carter sounded shaken.

"I'm on my way." Jack over at Daniel who was still facing the walls, pretending to look for inscriptions. Jack grit his teeth, frustrated at the missed opportunity to get Daniel to reveal what was bothering him. He stared at Daniel's back with growing concern.

"I'll catch up, Jack." Daniel said quietly. "Give me a moment to see if there are more inscriptions."

Jack knew Daniel probably just needed a minute. Insisting he stay with the Egyptologist was not going to help the situation. "Okay Daniel," Jack responded just as quietly, "Don't take too long." With that, Jack left. 

 

The fading footsteps snapped Daniel out of his gloom. The scientist stared at the walls again, feeling foolish at what he had asked Jack. _Can you teach me how to forget?  What were you thinking, Jackson?_ Daniel wondered if he was cursed. _First my parents, my foster parents, then Sha're and Skaara? I never should have unburied the Stargate. Never. I should have warned my parents. I felt uneasy. Why didn't I tell them?_ Daniel choked back a sob, glancing at the stairway to see if Jack was still there. He backed away from the walls; the need to lean against them and give in to his gloom was too great. As he backed away, his boot tripped over a broken stone. Stumbling, Daniel threw his hands back and slammed into one of the columns. Daniel could feel something underneath his hand move and the column opened. Daniel straightened, scolding himself for being so clumsy. He gazed in amazement at what he saw. 

The column opened up to a space large enough to fit a small humanoid body inside. On the bottom, a gray material covered its surface. Daniel poked at it and found out it was a small tunic. He eyed the inside ceiling and noted a crystal gem at the center. 

Suddenly, the crystal began to hum. Startled, Daniel backed away. He opened his mouth to call out to Jack, but stopped himself. Jack would be too far away to do anything. Daniel didn't even know what it was doing. The unknown was too risky; Daniel thought it best not to possibly endanger the others. _I better go over there and warn them myself,_ Daniel thought franticly as he edged along the walls to the stairway. The column was beginning to radiate heat, the humming growing louder with each step Daniel took. Daniel tried the walkie-talkie but got nothing but static. He figured it was probably due to the accidental activation of the strange device. 

Daniel was just a few feet away from the door when a platform rose under his feet. Caught off balance, Daniel staggered on top of it. The platform stopped after rising two feet. A light beamed down. The scientist looked up and saw a similar crystal. Daniel could barely move, his limbs heavy, his breath faint _. He had to do something!_ Suddenly, Daniel remembered his sidearm that Jack had always insisted he take. With slow movements, he struggled to get his weapon out. It was getting harder to think. Daniel was beginning to have trouble focusing on his goal, but slowly the gun slipped out of its holster. Daniel clenched his teeth as he lifted the gun and aimed for the crystal.

_If this doesn't work,_ he thought, _at least my curse goes with me. I hope Jack will find Sha're and Skaara for me._

 

Jack stared at the room where Carter and Teal'c were exploring. It was a vast hall like the one he left Daniel in. It too had two rows of black hollow columns. The walls were filled with inscriptions. There was only one difference. The room was filled with bodies. Hundreds of bodies lying straight on the floor. Their arms folded across their chests.

"They're all dead, sir." Carter whispered either out of shock or out of respect for the dead. "Some, it appears, just recently. Maybe even as soon as a week ago."

"How?" Jack managed to say.

"They had no weapon scars of any kind." Teal'c said.

"Where are all the children?" Jack said, as he noted the bodies. There were humanoids of all ages and gender but no children. As far as Jack could tell, the gaunt bodies ranged from Earth years of 20 to 80. He didn't like it one bit. "Could be a disease that did this. Okay, we're pulling out. I'm going to get Daniel, you guys-"

The shot that rang out stopped Jack from completing his order.

 

The pain is gone. There was no memory of what the pain was. (Frown) The physical pain was great, but the one in the heart was greater. (Frown) No memory of what it was. There is a man over there. I think he's dead. I touched him. He's still warm…I know him! Bad man! Bad man! He should die! Die! Die!

Jack ran down the stairs again before the last echoes of that shot faded. He tried the walkie-talkie but got nothing but static. As Jack ran, his fingers lost their grip and the walkie-talkie tumbled out and rolled down the stairs as fast as Jack wished his legs could.

" **DANIEL**!" Jack roared as he reached the last steps. In the back of his mind, he could only see Daniel, facing the wall, his back towards him. Faintly, Jack heard Carter and Teal'c somewhere behind him. As Jack reached the door, a humming sound faded. By the time he stepped into the hall, it was gone. But Jack wasn't concerned with it. The colonel was just concerned with what laid before him.

Daniel lay in a crumpled heap just a few feet away. One arm was outstretched with a gun. Jack staggered over to his friend. _Please, don't tell me he shot himself. Oh god, not like Charlie._ _Daniel, what were you thinking?_ Jack reached him and turned him over. He nearly shook with relief when he realized Daniel was still breathing. There was no bullet hole anywhere. Jack felt something fall onto his shoulders. It was a piece of shattered crystal. Jack looked up and realized then that the bullet was for the crystal gem above them.

"Colonel!" Carter shouted as she finally reached the hall. Jack had bolted so fast, Carter and Teal'c were still stunned by the sound of Daniel's gun.

"He shot that stone above us, Carter." Jack said tersely. His relief was gone, and worry had seeped back in again. After further examination, Jack realized Daniel was not responding to them. His breathing came out in short rasps; his heartbeat was faint under Jack's palm. 

"Daniel might be suffering symptoms of whatever caused this." Carter said. She tried to remain calm. "We need to get Daniel back home, sir."

Jack nodded and glanced over to Teal'c. Teal'c understood without the colonel having to say a word. The Jaffa lifted the younger man like as if he weighed nothing. Jack wordlessly retrieved Daniel's weapon and motioned Teal'c and Carter to head back upstairs.  

 

They're leaving. It will be okay if I just hide here for just a moment longer. They are taking the bad man away. I will never have to see him again. (Pause) The man with the gold picture on his head is taking the bad man away. Go away! Take him away from me! (Pause) The other man looks sad. 

Teal'c stopped at the foot of the stairs abruptly. Sam and Jack nearly bumped into him. Jack was about to snap. They shouldn't stop now, Daniel needed help. _Help that I couldn't give,_ Jack thought with a heavy heart. The colonel stopped himself from continuing that thought.

"Someone else is here." Teal'c whispered. The Jaffa picked up a sound, very faint, behind the last few rows of columns. 

Jack frowned. Normally, he would want to check it out, but his main concern was to getting medical help for Daniel. The young man was starting to look pale; his rasping harsher and louder. Carter casually turned around and caught a shadow darting back behind one of the columns.

"Nine o'clock, sir" she whispered, pretending not to see. "He or she may have seen what happened to Daniel and provide some clues."

Jack nodded. He motioned the two to continue on and dial home with the coordinates Daniel had written down in his notebook. The hall was enclosed. There was no other exit except the stairway. Jack could catch their prey alone. He didn't want to delay the team returning home with Daniel. 

Understanding, Carter wished the colonel good luck and followed Teal'c up the stairs with Daniel in their care. Jack watched Teal'c with his charge, going up the stairs, slowly swallowed by the darkness and felt a lump in his throat. _You better be okay, Jackson,_ Jack thought, _we still have a lot to talk about. We didn't finish our conversation yet._

_The sad man is not leaving. Why is he not leaving? I don't want him here! Why? Why is he still here? He's turning around! Did he see me? Have to run! Have to run now!_

Jack saw something dash out of the columns. A gray blur, that darted to each column with startling speed. He shouted at it, hoping to scare it into stopping, but it scurried by, hiding in the shadows the columns created. As he approached the end of the hall, Jack realized his mistake. The blur raced past him to the stairway. He tried to turn around and grab it but fell flat on his stomach.

"Oppmph!"

Feet. All Jack saw was little bare feet as they slapped against the stone steps, racing to the top. Gritting his teeth, Jack got up and ran after it.

Carter was too busy worrying about Daniel and noticed it too late. She whirred around and caught a sight of-

A little boy, no more than seven or eight, dressed in a gray shirt with no shoes. The child froze when he realized Carter sighted him. Teal'c turned around, still carrying Daniel. The boy saw the unconscious scientist, took a step back and ran down the other set of stairs.

"No, don't go down there!" Carter cried out, fearful of what the child might do when he saw what was down there. The boy looked healthy, Carter didn't want him to catch whatever had killed all those people. Jack skidded to a halt at the top of the stairs, panting. 

"Where?" he said hoarsely.

"Colonel! He went down the other stairs, to the-" Carter didn't finish. A high pitched scream echoed from the other hall. Jack's eyes looked grim as he pointed to Teal'c to go back to Earth. He didn't bother to check if Teal'c was still standing there, he was already down the stairs. 

 

Dead, they're all dead. Why are they dead? My fault, it must be my fault. Why am I not dead, too?

 

The wordless sobbing slowed Jack's feet. The colonel took the last step of stairs gingerly, not to startle the boy. In the shadows, at the doorway a little bundle of gray was quivering. _You shouldn't see this,_ Jack thought as he approached the boy quietly. The boy heard Jack and tried to bolt, but Jack got close enough to grab him this time. 

_No, let me go! Don't touch me! My fault, its all my fault. Leave me alone!_

The boy was shrieking, struggling to get away. Jack grabbed him firmly and turned him around to get a better look.

It was Charlie.

_No!_ Jack stopped himself. _He looks nothing like Charlie._ The child had light blond hair and blue, blue eyes. He barely reached Jack's waist. He looked transparent with his pale skin, thin quivering frame and gray tunic that was too big for him. A startling bright spot against all those black walls. He was like a ghost among the ruins. _No, not a ghost though._ Nothing like his dead son. _He looks nothing like Charlie_ , Jack reminded himself again, but the eyes looked right at him and pleaded for help. Jack suddenly had an urge to hold him like he did his son and whisper how nothing would ever happen to him again.

The boy, seeing that Jack was taken back for some strange reason, tried to slip out of his grasp again. Jack tightened his grip, trying to say it was okay. His soft tone and strange words did nothing to reassure the boy. Desperately trying to escape, the boy bit Jack in the arm. 

"Okay, that's far enough." Jack said, gritting his teeth. The colonel picked up the child and held him tightly in his arms, trying to ignore the little kicks to his chest and the wailing in his ears. Jack suffered through this as he took him up the stairs. He found Teal'c and Carter standing there.

"What are you still doing here?" Jack demanded, his eyes blazing. "Daniel needs medical attention. You shouldn't be here."

"Nor should you, colonel!" Carter replied sharply. She had intended to leave, but heard the screams of the child. "We leave together, colonel. The boy might help us find out what happened here."

Not persuaded, Jack stomped over to the DHD, punched the coordinates angrily, and watched the Stargate activate. As the seven chevrons one by one lit up, Jack suddenly realized the boy was quiet now. He looked at the boy, still and silent in his arms. The boy was looking at the Stargate with wide eyes. The colonel couldn't tell if it was fear or awe. When the column of light gushed out, the child didn't even flinch.

"It'll be okay." Jack said quietly. It was one of the things he had wanted to tell Daniel, and the only thing he could think of saying right now. 

The boy looked at Jack once again, his blue eyes reflecting the lights and sparkles of the Stargate. Jack could see the fear in his eyes and something else-sorrow. Jack wanted to turn away from those eyes. He had seen too much sorrow in his friend's eyes. He didn't want to see a stranger's pair of eyes echoing the same. It reminded him of forgotten things and of an old ache in his heart for a lost child that weighed just the same in his arms.

Teal'c and Carter stepped into the Stargate first. Jack whispered reassuringly that it was going to be all right. The boy didn't appear to understand the words, but he understood the meaning. No longer trying to struggle, he slipped his arms around Jack's neck and hid his face in there. Jack closed his eyes for just a moment, reveling in the familiar weight in his arms, and stepped into the Stargate.

 

"Let's get him to the infirmary." Doctor Fraiser was ordering as the medics took Daniel away from Teal'c. The Jaffa stepped forward, almost as if he was reluctant to have Daniel part from his protection but stopped. Carter looked behind her and was gratified to see Jack with the boy, stepping through the Stargate.

General Hammond was already by the ramp. He had left the control room as soon as he saw who Teal'c was carrying, well before Carter started hollering for medical assistance.

"What happened?" the general asked. He caught sight of the boy.

"Possible survivor, sir." Carter explained, her eyes glued to the stretcher where the medics placed Daniel.

"Survivor?" General Hammond studied the SG-1 team. The three looked exhausted beyond physical reason. Their eyes were glued to their friend, being taken away by the medics. Teal'c and Carter paused, looking at the general, torn with the need to inform and the desire to follow their friend to find out his fate. 

General Hammond was not a dispassionate man.

"Go to the infirmary with the medics." The general said quietly, "Get that boy checked out. You can debrief me along the way."

Teal'c and Carter nodded and quickened their steps to catch up with the medical team. General Hammond glanced over at the colonel who was also proceeding down the ramp, the child still in his arms. The general saw worry and- guilt? He didn't know what was going on, but Hammond knew that whatever it was, Jack O'Neill somehow felt that he had a hand in it.  

"Stand fast, colonel." The general suddenly said. "Doctor Fraiser will find out what is wrong."

Inside, Jack knew what might be _wrong_ with Daniel, and it had frustrated him no end that he wouldn't be able to help his friend. Daniel was felled by something Jack couldn't see, touch, or even begin to understand, and that caused tightness in his chest that refused to go away. 

The boy, perhaps feeling the tension in the body holding him, looked up and tried to wiggle out of Jack's arms. The general tried to take the boy from Jack, who couldn't get the boy to stay still. The boy froze and cried out in fear. General Hammond opened his hands to show he was no threat, but the boy panicked at the unfamiliar person and tried to escape. He wiggled out of Jack's arms and was stumbling back to the inactive Stargate. Jack and the general tried to approach the boy who whirled around when he realized the Stargate wasn't going to take him anywhere.

"It's okay, buddy." Jack said in a soothing voice. The boy was looking at the two with fear, his blue eyes dark with anxiety. "Didn't I say everything would to be okay? The general is a friend, a real teddy bear." Jack glanced over at the general with an apologetic shrug, "Sorry, sir."

The general shook his head. "I've been called worst in my lifetime, colonel. My grandkids use to call me that when they were young." The general was talking in a soft voice, trying to keep the tone light. "Does he understand us?"

"I don't think so, sir." Jack tried to take a step. He directed his attention back to the boy. "You shouldn't be standing there, buddy. You might fall off the edge. Why don't you come over here instead?"

What do they want? I don't understand what they are saying. I hear the voice but not the words. I should know; why don't I know? 

"It's okay." Jack continued, taking yet another step. The boy was too close to the edge of the ramp's end. The Stargate and the ramp intersected at the edge, but the ramp dropped off three feet. Jack didn't want the boy to take another step back, but the boy was too frightened to come forward either. "Step away from the ramp." Jack's voice was beginning to carry an edge of urgency now.

Why won't they leave me alone? Bad, bad, bad. I don't want to be here. Why can't I tell them? What do I say?

The boy looked like he wanted to say something, his mouth slightly opened. Frustration took over, and he clung to the Stargate ring. Jack extended a hand, trying to assure the child that everything was okay.

Scared. Scared. Help me please. Help me?

The boy took a hesitant step forward, then back as he doubted his decision. That step took him right to the edge. He cried out when he lost his footing. Jack had to lunge the few feet and grabbed him before he could fall. The general breathed a sigh of relief as Jack carried the crying boy down the ramp. The youth made no move to escape this time. 

_I saved you; you're all right,_ Jack thought as he hugged the boy tightly. _I saved you this time, Charlie._ Jack froze at his own thoughts. _This is not Charlie. It's not Charlie._ Jack sighed as the boy tightened his grip around Jack's neck. _O'Neill, what the hell are you thinking? Don't go and be a basket case on me now. The team needs you._

"Colonel?"

"I better get him to the infirmary, sir." Was all Jack could say. The general nodded and followed him out of the embarkation room.

 

Doctor Fraiser didn't look too happy with the news she was going to tell the team. Jack had joined the rest moments later with the general. The group was looking at her with expectant looks on their faces.

"Daniel Jackson is in critical but stable condition." She said as she went over to the boy Jack was carrying. The child stiffened, and she backed away. The general shook his head, telling her that it was probably better to wait till the boy calmed down.

"What does that mean?" Jack asked, his voice tight. He could see Daniel at the end of the infirmary. The monitors were hooked up; Daniel tucked firmly in bed. "What do you mean critical?"

"What I mean, colonel, is that we can't find anything wrong with Daniel Jackson." Fraiser snapped then sighed. "Colonel, I know you're worried, but the tests we ran showed nothing physically wrong with Doctor Jackson. We're going to run a CAT scan next and see what we can find."

Carter swallowed, glancing over to the bed where Daniel was. "Is he going to wake up?" she asked softly.

"He should, but he isn't." Fraiser continued, seeing Jack about to ask again. "There is no reason why he shouldn't be waking up, but he isn't."

"I'm sure you're doing your best, Doctor Fraiser." General Hammond interrupted, giving Jack with a warning look.

Jack sighed. He shouldn't be taking out his frustrations on the doctor. "Look doc, I'm sorry. I know you're trying."

"We feel a little useless right now." Carter added in O'Neill's defense. 

"Can we stay with Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c inquired.

"We'll be moving him to a private room. You can stay with him then." Fraiser looked at the child Jack was carrying. "Captain Carter tells me this boy is a survivor from whatever killed all those people in P3X791."

"Could it be a plague?" General Hammond asked worriedly. He didn't want to think that they were bringing something dangerous back to Earth.

"The air samples Captain Carter obtained showed no microbe organisms that posed a threat, sir. I need to run tests with the child to find out if he has some sort of immunity." Fraiser looked at the scared boy doubtfully. "Colonel, the boy obviously has an attachment with you, could you-"

"I'll stay with him." Jack said, but his eyes were back on Daniel. 

"We'll stay with Daniel, sir." Carter said, understanding that the colonel was torn between his concern with the youngest member of the team and the boy, who was too frightened to trust anyone else besides Jack. 

"I'll see you guys later." Jack said, standing up. He walked over to Daniel, the boy in his arms. Daniel lay there, breathing out of the mask over his mouth, still as death. Jack looked at Daniel and whispered as if his friend could hear him.

"Hang in there, Daniel. You better get well. Can't run out on a conversation like that. That's rude, okay?"

The boy looked at Jack, cocking his head to one side and studied him with open curiosity. Then he turned to Daniel, and his look changed to suspicion. Jack wondered what had happened to cause this. 

"Come on, kid." Jack murmured as he reluctantly stepped away from his friend's side. "Let's have Doc take a look at you."

 

"Perfectly healthy." That was Fraiser's diagnosis as she folded her stethoscope into her lab coat. "No sign of viral infection or decreased white blood cell count. Reflexes normal and so is-" she smiled as the boy curiously pulled at her stethoscope, "his curiosity." 

"Jack." Sara rolled her eyes upward as the wiggling child in her arms tried to grab for something else again. "Will you give me a hand here?"

_The man chuckled at the sight of the little boy, chubby short arms out and clutching on to anything that dangled. This time, his focus was on his wife's scarf._

_"Ja- urk! Charlie!" Sara nearly choked as the toddler squealed in delight of the soft scarf in his hands. "Jack! We have a doctor's appointment for Charlie."_

_"Nothing wrong with you, kiddo." Jack chuckled as Charlie tried to grab for the purse straps now. Sara glared at her husband. "Especially not your curiosity."_

_"Jonathon-" His wife said in a soft and dangerous voice. Jack winced._

_"Okay, okay. Come here, Charlie. Oof! Man, you're heavy." The man pretended to grumble, not admitting that the weight of Charlie's head on his shoulders gave him a feeling of peace, as if the demons of his past were being exorcised…_

"Nothing similar between the kid and Daniel?" Jack said as he shook himself out of his thoughts.

"Just that all vital signs are normal, colonel." Fraiser nodded sympathetically at Jack. "I know you're worried about Daniel, but we're doing the best we can. At least he's stabilized and not in any present danger."

"Yeah, just that he's not waking up." Jack muttered. "Damn it, Danny."

The boy looked up at Jack's voice. The colonel guiltily clamped his mouth shut as Fraiser chuckled in spite of herself.

"I don't think it would be wise to introduce derogatory words into the boy's vocabulary, colonel."

"Forgot." Jack muttered. "It's been a while since I had to watch my mouth." He didn't volunteer any meaning behind what he said. "It's just so d- irritating to see a member of my team cut down like this."

"He's your friend, colonel. I can understand your frustration." Fraiser murmured, sympathetically.

"Danny can also be a god damn pain in the-" Jack stopped when the boy looked up again. He lifted an eyebrow at the boy. "Well, he seems to like the word damn more than -"

"Colonel." 

"Sorry." Jack studied the boy. "Well, I can't keep calling him it or hey you."

"You're going to name him?" Fraiser wondered if that was a good idea, but then saw the boy looked up at her now. "He does seem to respond to you, though."

"How about...Johnny?" Jack smiled at the boy. "My first name is Jonathon. What the he-"

"Colonel."

"What the hey." Jack corrected himself. "Like the name Johnny?"

Johnny looked at him with his expressive eyes and a frown in his lips. Jack shrugged, grinning wanly as he was too tired to pretend cheerfulness anymore. "Wish you could talk, Johnny." Jack picked up Johnny and looked at Fraiser questioningly.

"Johnny seems okay. We'll get a room set up for him. I wouldn't have him venture outside yet until we're sure there'll be no ill effects of the different atmosphere, but the base should be fine."

"Joy." Jack commented dryly. "How thrilling. I get to show you a military base, Johnny. Think you can handle all the excitement?"

Johnny yawned, laid his head down on Jack's shoulder and fell asleep. Surprised, Jack could only smile sadly as he whispered softly. "Guess not."

 

Carter took one of Daniel's hands and held it with both of hers. She studied her friend, trying to find some reaction from the younger man that he could sense her presence. 

"Daniel." Carter murmured. "What's happened to you?" She gave his lax hand a squeeze but received no response. The blood tests showed nothing of use. Everything pointed to perfect health. "Why aren't you waking up?" Carter blinked, feeling tears building up behind her eyes, but refused to let them fall. "Daniel, the col- Jack is worried. We all are. Fight this, Daniel. You have too much at stake here."

Teal'c sat down next to Sam. He studied the female soldier and then Daniel. "Do you think he can hear, Captain Carter?"

"I don't know." Carter admitted. "But it might help."

"This will help Daniel Jackson?"

_Probably not but it helps me_ , Carter thought as she gently tucked Daniel's hand back under his blanket covers. 

"How is he?" Jack's quiet voice infiltrated Carter's fog. He had returned from his debriefing. The team was taking turns, watching Daniel and speaking with the General. 

"Daniel Jackson has not woke at all." Teal'c informed the colonel gravely as he left to be debriefed by the general.

"Damn." Jack said and sat down heavily on his chair.

"Where's the boy?" Carter asked, wanting a distraction.

"Johnny's asleep in the guest quarters. Doc gave him a sedative so he could rest."

"Johnny?" Carter repeated the name.

 "Kid didn't seem to respond to anything else, and he didn't give his name." Jack looked unsure about the idea. "Couldn't keep calling him kiddo, Carter."

"No, I guess not." Carter agreed. She looked at Daniel and found that she was unable to stop tears from pooling in her eyes. "Oh Daniel-"

A hand on her shoulder stopped what she would have said. Carter looked at Jack and saw the guilt in his eyes. She suddenly found herself wanting to say something.

"Da-daniel was depressed, sir." Carter swallowed. "Before the mission. I-I wanted to talk to him, see if I could help, but-"

"You never had a chance." Jack finished the sentence. "I was trying to do the same, Sam."

Carter blinked at the change from her last name, but Jack didn't seem to be even aware of his switch. She sniffed, trying to calm herself. "I wish-"

The team grew silent as they stood over Daniel. Jack sighed, remembering another time when he had stood over the same bed.

"I'm fine, Jack." Daniel sat up straighter. He winced as the new stitches on his shoulder pulled with the movement. 

_"Not a good move, Jackson." The colonel plopped down on the chair besides the bed. He crossed his arms and sat there, glowering at the younger man. "Neither was standing in between me and that chieftain."_

_"He didn't understand." The younger man protested. "I was sure if I could explain to him we weren't here to make slaves out of them, that-"_

_"You…were…sure." Jack's voice sounded very thin. Daniel winced as he heard the underlying anger in those three words._

_"I didn't…I didn't think the chieftain was going to stab first ask questions later. Kind of like your policy, Jack." Daniel tried to joke lightly. The colonel, however, didn't find it amusing._

_"That's the problem!" Jack's voice suddenly rose to new levels. The scientist winced. He glanced around and saw the startled looks of the medical staff. Some rolled their eyes as if saying, "There he goes again". Apparently, this argument was a common one between Daniel and the now red-faced colonel. "You…didn't…think! What were you thinking? Standing between that blade and me? What did you do? Leave your brain behind back on Earth before we went on the mission? I ought to pull you off this team for that stunt! What the hell were you thinking?"_

_"Jack-"_

_"Never…" the colonel was on a roll now. "Never in my entire career, have I ever, EVER seen such recklessness-"_

_"Jack-"_

_"Thinking of yourself as the SG-1 pincushion with the golden mouth-"_

_"JACK!"_

_"What!" The colonel stopped his ranting to look at Daniel. To his irritation, the scientist looked upset. "What are you angry about?"_

_"I'm not helpless, Jack." Daniel's eyes turned dark with anger. "I WAS thinking when I stepped in between. I'm not stupid."_

_Jack stared at Daniel, his mouth already about to start again on his recklessness, but Daniel beat him to it._

_"I'm ALSO not a coward." Daniel's voice was very quiet. "I am not about to stand there and watch one of my closest friends get stabbed when I know there was even a slightest chance of saving the situation without any bloodshed."_

_The colonel was speechless._

_"I know there are no guarantees in this project, but I am sure as hell not going to stand by and lose one more person." Daniel blinked, suddenly surprised that his eyes were moist with unshed tears. He sniffed, trying to dam them up. He nearly jumped when a tissue was waved in front of him._

_"Here." Jack said gruffly. The younger man mumbled thanks and took the tissue. He turned red as he blew his nose, suddenly embarrassed for his outburst._

_"Sorry, Jack. I-"_

_"Why are you apologizing?" Jack looked at his friend, exasperated. "Look, I'm…sorry that I yelled. You know how I am…"_

_"I sure do. Oh, sorry." Daniel at least had the sense to look sheepish when the older man glared at him._

_"I don't think you're a coward, Daniel. God dammit, I've seen lesser men balk at the stuff we had seen and done. You have tougher guts than some of the soldiers I've been with in my entire career."_

_Daniel was surprised by Jack's compliment. "Jack, I-"_

_"However." Jack's dark eyes bored through Daniel. The younger man promptly shut up. "I don't think a sense of preservation would equal cowardliness." Jack patted Daniel's arm. "I would rather have a live archeologist to yell at than a dead one. Do you understand me, Daniel?"_

_Daniel mutely nodded, not wanting to push his luck by opening his mouth again._

_"Is…that…clear?" Jack's voice was beginning to increase in volume again._

_"Yes, Jack."_

_The colonel sighed again and ran a hand through his short hair tiredly. "Look, I appreciate the gesture trying to save my as-"_

_"Jaack."_

_"Trying to save my behind." Jack corrected himself, rolling his eyes at the same time. "But my coming out of a mission with all my body parts would be of little comfort if I have to return home with a body bag."_

_Now it was Daniel's turn to be speechless._

_"Promise me, Daniel. No more stupid stunts like that." Jack asked quietly. "My heart can't take that kind of excitement for my age."_

_"I'll be more careful next time, Jack."_

_"Next time?" Jack nearly jumped out of his chair. "What do you mean next time? There…will…be…no…next…time! You try something like that again and I'll pull you off this team so fast, your glasses would shatter from the g-force!"_

_"If I come across the same situation again, Jack." Daniel was very serious. "I will not hesitate. Not for anyone. Not for Sam, Teal'c, or you. Let me watch out for you as I know you guys always watch out for me."_

_"Daniel-" The colonel stood over the man, glaring at him as if that would change his mind. Daniel sat up straighter to look right at his friend._

_"Jack, I've stuck around this long. I'll be okay." Daniel grinned reassuringly but saw that Jack didn't back down. His smile faded, and he looked at the colonel anxiously._

_"Jack…I'll be careful." Daniel smiled shyly as he continued. "How could I go wrong when I have you guys constantly hovering over me?"_

_The colonel looked at Daniel's stubborn face for a moment then sighed as he ruefully shook his head. Why was it he could never win that argument? Even when Daniel promised to be careful, the rest of the team would still watch over him as he stumbled and tripped to danger. "Lives of a cat. You are going to make my hair go white, Doctor Jackson."_

_"Don't go blaming me for that, colonel." Daniel teased, relieved to see Jack smile finally. Jack ruffled Daniel's hair._

_"Space monkey." Jack shot back. Daniel grinned back._

_Suddenly, the two men heard applause. They turned around and found, to their horror, that the staff had heard everything and was cheering with "aws" and whistles. Jack groaned and glared at Daniel, who just slid slowly beneath his blankets in embarrassment…_

"Carter, do you know how many times I was thinking about pulling Daniel off this team?" Jack said suddenly.

"What?" Carter was startled. "Pull Daniel off?"

"Thought he wouldn't be able to cut it." Jack grunted at the memory. "Thought that it would be too dangerous for him to be on an active team."

"You meant well, Jack." Carter said softly, deliberately switching to the colonel's first name. "You didn't want anything to happen to Daniel. None of us do."

Jack smiled briefly at those words but shook his head. "Figured we could all watch his back. Figured **I** could watch his back." A look of disgust crossed his tired features. "Guess I was wrong."

"No." Carter instinctively placed a gentle hand on top of Jack's. "You're not giving Daniel any credit. How many times have we thought he was d-dead?" Carter swallowed at the words but continued. "And how many times did he surprised us?"

"Too many." Jack grinned crookedly. "Man has more lives than a cat."

"Maybe geeks have an immunity, sir?" Carter grinned sadly in return.

"Let's hope so, Carter." Jack said.

Doctor Fraiser came running in at this point. "Colonel O'Neill. Where's Johnny?"

That got Jack up on his feet before his mouth could open. "What do you mean? I left him in his quarters. You sedated him."

"I know, I know, but when I went to check on him, he was gone."

"What?" Jack looked furious. 

Fraiser winced at the sight of his eyes. 

Jack calmed down a bit. "Sorry, doc. Listen, let me go checking around. Johnny couldn't have gotten far."

"I'll go see if-" Carter began.

"No." Jack stopped Carter. "No. You stay here. Daniel should see a familiar face when he wakes up." He paused as he realized what he had said. Jack nodded, agreeing with his own belief. " **When** Daniel wakes up, be here Carter."

"Yes sir." Carter whispered and watched the colonel hurry out of the room. She and Fraiser exchanged worried looks.

 

It took Jack an hour before he finally found Johnny. He had checked the labs, the embarkation room and the infirmary. Jack avoided ringing the alarms, fearing the loud unfamiliar noises would frighten the child.

It was in one of the lab rooms where the original cartouche was stored for further examination that Jack found Johnny. 

The boy was huddled under one of the tables, eyes on the cartouche while crying silently. He didn't hear Jack come in.

"Hey." Jack said quietly. "What are you doing down there, Johnny?"

Johnny froze, whipping his head to Jack with fearful eyes. The boy shrank from O'Neill's outstretched hand.

Leave me alone. Why can't you leave me alone?

"Pretty scared right now, huh?" Jack murmured as he pulled his hand away. "Bet it wasn't as scary as that other place you were in, Johnny."

The boy just looked at Jack with those wide blue eyes. 

"You should find a better place to hide when you're scared though." Jack went on as if hiding under the table was a very normal thing. He kneeled there as if it was natural, his hands folded neatly on his lap, balancing on the balls of his feet as he crouched down to Johnny's level. 

"I use to hide in my neighbor's tree." Jack shrugged as he remembered. "He- Heck, no one would find me there, I thought." Jack chuckled as he thought back on those memories. He looked at Johnny solemnly. "But wouldn't it be better if someone did find you when you're scared?"

Johnny just looked at him silently.

"Why don't you let me find you when you're scared? Okay, Johnny?" Jack asked quietly, extending out his hand again. He hoped that even if the child didn't understand, his quiet tone would be reassuring enough for the boy to trust him. "Beats hiding under a table all day. Filthy under there. Ever checked beneath that table? Gum and stuff. Very disgusting. Wouldn't want to hide there all day. No way." Jack held out his hand, careful to relax his fingers so they wouldn't appear threatening.

Scared. I'm so scared. Everything here feels so strange. I…I want to go home…Home where there was sand everywhere. Take me home, please?

After a moment's hesitation, Johnny reached out his small hand and clasped Jack's.

"Good boy." Jack just said as he pulled Johnny out. The boy whimpered and clung to his leg as he cried again. Jack awkwardly patted the boy, frustrated that his strange words couldn't reach him.

"It'll be okay, Johnny." Jack murmured to Johnny and to himself. "It'll be okay."

Carter breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Jack walked in with Johnny in his arms. "Where did you find him, sir?"

"The labs." Jack said as he sat down besides Daniel's bedside. "Has he-?"

"No." Carter shook her head sadly. "Still the same." She looked at the boy who was clutching Jack's neck tightly. 

"I'm going to take him back to his room." Jack said quietly at Carter's questioning look. "This is no place for him." Jack got up and paused. He leaned over slightly and surprised Carter and Teal'c by brushing back a strand of Daniel's hair. 

"No place for him either." Jack said shortly and left.

 

The boy kept fidgeting, his hands touching everything in the room. Jack vaguely remembered some of the items in the room as being Cassandra's when the team had first brought her over to Earth. He wondered if Fraiser had the stuff placed here for Johnny. He plopped the boy down on the bed and studied him as he wondered why the child reminded him of…someone else.

"You don't look like him. Not really." Jack murmured as he watched the boy flip through the picture book he had found under the pillow. "My kid had blonder hair, none of those dark streaks like you have. His eyes were brown. Certainty not as scrawny as you. A wind could blow you down."

Johnny paused in his explorations, Jack's voice catching his attention once more. He cocked his head at the older man, looking at the way he was talking. Perhaps he realized that Jack was in a dark mood because the boy shyly gave him the book.

"For me?" Jack smiled as he took it. "Not even my birthday yet."

The boy smiled back shyly when he saw Jack's. Then, he yawned again but resisted Jack's movements to push him down to the bed to sleep.

"Look, you have to sleep, and I am sure as hel- heck am not going to feed you coffee to keep you awake." Jack scolded, exasperated. The boy made non-verbal sounds as he pushed the blankets away. He looked at the soldier, his mouth set in a stubborn line, looking very much like a young version of the colonel. 

"It took me a long time to get Cassandra to sleep, colonel." Doctor Fraiser said softly. She stood by the door with her hands crossed. She had been watching for a few minutes, amused at the colonel's failed efforts to get the child to sleep.

"Only thing I can think of is tying him to the bed, but that wouldn't score me any points with the kid." Jack drawled as he pulled the covers over the boy once more, only to have them kicked out again. "Geez, I never had this much problems with my k-" Jack stopped, his hands stilled over the blankets' edge. 

"Colonel O'Neill?"

"Nothing." The man said shortly. Johnny stilled, seeing the colonel's eyes dull. He tugged at Jack's sleeve, blue eyes anxiously looking at him.

Sad. He looks so sad. Sad like me?

"Talk to him." 

"What?" Jack shook himself out of his fog.

"Talk to him. You know, until he falls asleep. He'll stay asleep when he senses that you're not leaving." Fraiser smiled, remembering how it was when she had brought home her newly adopted daughter Cassandra. 

"Are you telling me my talking would put him to sleep?" The colonel asked dryly, pretending indignation. "Who do you think I am? I'm not a lecturing geek like Dan-" His voice trailed off again. He ignored the sympathetic looks from the doctor. He didn't need it right now.

"All right, Johnny." Jack quipped, turning around so Fraiser couldn't see his face. "I guess I'll just have to keep talking until you fall asleep. Sound okay?"

The door quietly shut, leaving Jack alone with Johnny. The room, amidst its whirring sounds of monitors and lights, was now filled with the quiet voice of the colonel as he told Johnny old stories he had once told another child so long ago.

 

Three days.

It had been three days.

Jack felt like he wanted to pound something, but the only thing available to him were the respirators, and those were too important for him to inflict his anger upon.

Three days since Daniel was brought to this infirmary.

Three days since Daniel was hooked up to unfamiliar machines that whirred, beeped, and pumped oxygen into his friend's lungs. 

Three days since his friend had opened his eyes.

Three days his friend had lain there unaware.

Three days since his friends had held taken turns with vigils by his bedside.

Three days of arguing with General Hammond about returning to that damned planet that was responsible for this.

Three days.

Nothing had gone bad for those three days. Then again, nothing had improved either.

"Damn it." Jack muttered as he sat down beside the bed. He sighed, rubbed his eyes wearily, and wondered when all this was going to end.

"Colonel O'Neill?" Doctor Fraiser said gently as she approached the bed for her routine check. The older man ignored her, and she shrugged, continuing with her observations, occasionally scribbling something down.

"At least you're doing something." Jack muttered as he leaned heavily against the chair. He could feel his shoulders droop, and yet he couldn't bring up enough military manners to sit straight. So, he just concentrated on preventing himself from sliding off the chair.

"Sam told me about Daniel's state of mind before the mission." The doctor put down her clipboard and sat down on a chair next to the colonel. "I'm wondering if it might provide some clue to why was Daniel targeted for this."

"Man can not get a break." The chair screeched as Jack abruptly stood up. "A magnet for shit to happen to him."

"Not really a medical observation, colonel."

"Well I'm not the **god damn** doctor here, am I, Doc?" Jack nearly screamed at her until he realized what he was doing. He rubbed his eyes tiredly with the heel of his hand. When he opened them again, he saw Fraiser just looking at him with that god-awful sympathy in her eyes. 

"Look, I was out of line, Doc."

"Sit." Fraiser didn't sound angry at all. She smiled a little as the colonel, with surprising obedience, sat back down on the chair again.

"Look. I can get out of prisons, third world countries, and alien planets for crying out loud! But this-" Jack shook his head. "It's out of my league and every hour I sit here talking to him, knowing it's not going to help…"

"Reminds you of how helpless you feel." The doctor finished Jack's sentence for him.

The colonel glared at her, a bit annoyed to hear it said out loud, but then he shrugged.

"Well I'm not the god damn doctor here, am I, Doc?" Jack repeated lightly, forcing a bit of humor in it. 

"Stop cursing, colonel. You're getting downright salty."

"Yeah, yeah. Gotta watch my mouth. Daniel-" Jack paused for a moment, then continued. "Daniel is always giving me annoyed looks when I go and do that. You know-" The colonel imitated the look of peering over a pair of glasses. "He would go Jaaack and-"

"You would pretend you didn't hear and keep right at it." Fraiser finished his sentences again, earning yet another glare from him.

"Mind reader."

"Nope, just a doctor." The woman got up and lightly patted him on his tense shoulder. "You should watch your mouth around Johnny. Sam is trying to teach him how to communicate. She said he seems to be picking up on the language very quickly-"

"But he's still not talking." Jack pointed out.

"Could be trauma, too since I found nothing wrong with his vocal cords, but I don't want him picking up certain _colonel's_ favorite lines. Understood?"

Jack gave a mock salute with a crooked grin at the doctor as she left, clucking in mild disgust as she went. That smile faded, however, when he turned his attentions back to Daniel. The older man thought back from when he had first noticed Daniel's depression. He had been so occupied with his own ghosts that he hadn't realized Daniel was suffering at the same time.

"You're their CO, god dammit. Their team leader." Jack muttered. "You should be picking up on these things, not on your self-pity."

The nightmares that plagued him after their return from P7J 989 kept him up for weeks.  How many times did he found himself waking up, his ears still ringing from the sounds of gunfire that no longer existed? How many times did he wake up hearing Sara's denying screams when they had ran to the backyard to find their son in a pool of blood? And how many times did those memories linger during the waking hours, following him to work, rendering him blind to his fellow teammates' pain?

_"Jack?" Daniel poked his head through the door of O'Neill's bunkroom. He hesitated coming in. The older man was sitting in front of the desk, his hands cradling his head._

_"What is it, Daniel?" The colonel had asked wearily. He didn't bother to look up._

_"Um, I…was…" Daniel paused as if he regretted coming here now. "Never mind, Jack. Good night."_

_"Daniel," the colonel got out of his seat and snagged the archeologist's elbow. "I'm sorry. I was thinking."_

_"That's a dangerous thing to do, Jack." Daniel joked weakly. "You always say that to me. Too much thinking…" The younger man's voice trailed off._

_"Daniel?"_

_"How are you doing?" The man quietly asked. Jack knew he was referring to the mission they had just returned from hours ago. P7J-989. The colonel was beginning to really hate those codes given for the destinations. Virtual reality from hell was what Jack would have called it. It was a much better name to give a planet where the machines suck you in a nightmarish cycle of never ending memories of tragedy._

_"Fine." The colonel answered shortly. He dropped his hold on Daniel's sleeve. "Just fine."_

_"You saw…what they made me remember…" The archeologist continued softly, not picking up or maybe not caring about Jack's tone of voice. "I…Teal'c didn't say…what it was you remembered…" Daniel looked unsure about asking._

_"Bad mission." Jack said coldly. He went back to his seat and sat down in a huff. "People died, blood was spilled. It wasn't…a Kodak moment, Daniel."_

_"Oh. I…I thought…maybe they made you…remember…"_

_"My kid?" Jack's voice was harsh. So harsh that Daniel automatically took a step back without realizing it._

_"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"_

_"It's like I told Teal'c." Jack's voice was cold as he looked at a point above Daniel's head. "It was history. It was done with. It was over. Nothing I can do will ever change that."_

_"I'm sorry, Jack. I…didn't mean to…" Daniel's voice faltered as he took another step back, almost out of the room now. "I thought you wanted…maybe you…that I could…talk."_

_"I talked." Jack made no move to pull Daniel back in the room. Instead, he got up and grabbed his jacket. "I'm going home, and I suggest you do the same. Stop standing around, talking about stuff that shouldn't be mentioned." With that, Jack slipped past Daniel and went home._

_Jack hadn't thought about it at all when he got home. He had spent that night not remembering with the aid of a six pack and broken glass everywhere from his wrath._

_Daniel never spoke about that incident or about his after that._

 

"I am such an idiot." Jack muttered, his eyes darkened as he realized now that Daniel had probably wanted to talk to him, but he was too deep in his own darkness to realize that.

"You could have come to me later on, Danny." The older man paused and then shook his head. "No, I probably spooked you after that, huh?"

_"Stop standing around, talking about stuff that shouldn't be mentioned."_

Jack bowed his head slightly as he remembered what he had told Daniel. "Since when do you listen to my orders? You could have talked, Daniel." The colonel looked at the machines around him and sighed.

"I should have talked."

The younger man didn't respond. He just lay there, pale and thin, unmoved by sounds, by Jack's voice or by the warm contrasting touch of a hand on his shoulder.

"God dammit."

The infirmary doors burst opened. Jack whirred around to see Teal'c carrying Johnny in his arms, Doctor Fraiser barking orders to her nurses. He got up so quickly his chair fell back to the floor.

"What happened?" Jack demanded as Teal'c placed the unconscious boy on the gurney. Carter was talking to the doctor, her hands gesturing wildly as she spoke.

"The boy was having difficulty breathing. Before Captain Carter could walk him to the infirmary, he collapsed. I found them in the hallways."

"Johnny?" Jack nudged the boy, but he didn't respond except with large gulping noises as the youngster struggled to breathe. Wide blue eyes stared at Jack. 

The doctor brushed past O'Neill, pushing him aside without apology as she worked on the boy, shouting out words and numbers the colonel couldn't understand. And when the boy's eyes closed, Jack's heart nearly stopped. He felt himself being pulled away from the gurney and the flurry of activity. 

Carter was saying something. Something about how he was just sitting there, listening to her pronounce words and sentences. 

"He was perfectly fine. He was even smiling-"

He was just playing in the back. I heard him playing with his bat and ball.

"I was telling him the story of the tortoise and the hare-" I told him that me and mommy were going to be on the front porch- "He dropped his book suddenly-"

It was so loud. I never heard anything as loud as that sound. It made my feet move before I knew it.

"He was just on the floor. Oh God, I thought he was-"

Dead. He was dead on my backyard. So much blood. There was so much blood. He was so small. How could there have been so much blood in such a tiny body?

Coughing interrupted both Carter and Jack. They whipped their heads towards the gurney. Johnny was curled to the side, gasping and wheezing, but it never sounded more beautiful to them. 

 

"I can't find anything wrong with Johnny." Fraiser winced as she heard Jack's fist made contact with the table in the debriefing room. Carter and Teal'c looked at the colonel worriedly.

"Could this be something similar to what Doctor Jackson has?" The general asked the doctor as he gave a warning look to the colonel.

"Could be." The doctor was beginning to look frustrated too. "All I see is both of them slowly shutting down."

"Both?" Jack leaned forward worriedly. "You mean Johnny is-"

"His metabolism is slowing down, pulse is weaker."

"But he looks fine now." Carter protested. "He's in his room playing with Cassandra and-"

The doctor looked like she regretted bringing her adopted daughter in to meet Johnny all of a sudden. Jack knew why.

"Whatever it is may be contagious." Jack said quietly. The general looked worried.

"But then why was Doctor Jackson struck down by whatever it was so quickly?" The general wanted to know.

"I don't know, sir. Perhaps adults are more susceptible or Johnny was never completely exposed to it or the Stargate was a catalyst like it was when Cassandra had that bomb-"

"We need to return to that planet, sir." Jack said. "It's the only way we'll be able to find anything."

"We could bring back air samples, more video, maybe find some writing-" Carter jumped in, agreeing.

"Writing." 

Everyone looked at Jack curiously. The colonel looked abashed.

"Daniel was making notes in his notebook about writing he found on some stones near the Stargate."

"We had a look at his notebook, but all it said was something about reborn and-" The general shrugged. "Our team of cultural advisors are still new to Doctor Jackson's technique of translation. They couldn't make heads or tails out of his notes."

"Daniel's journals might have some clue to his notes." Carter said. She was surprised by the glare the colonel gave her.

"We can't go rummaging around his personal belongings again like as he were dead or something." Jack gritted out. "He's still alive."

"I'm sure Daniel would understand, sir." Carter was nonplussed about it. "He would understand why we needed to do this."

"I agree." The general said who shut Jack up with a stern look. It had a "we'll talk more later" feel to it.

 

As Carter and Teal'c left for Daniel's apartment, Jack headed for the general's office for the "we'll talk more later".

"Colonel, is there something you would like to say?" General Hammond wasted no words as he motioned the man to sit. The general studied him for a moment and continued without waiting for Jack's reply.

"I know the situation with Doctor Jackson is upsetting." The general said. "I wish, no I hope, we can find a cure for him. However," the general stressed the last word, "beating yourself over the head will not help the situation either, colonel."

Jack refrained from sighing. It seemed to him that he was doing that a lot. "I'm sorry, sir. It's a bit…disconcerting to see a member of my team taken down like this."

"Doctor Jackson has done a lot, putting his life on the line for us and this project."

"Only to be struck down by this…this…thing we can't see or shoot." Jack clenched his fists. It was the only thing that was stopping him from pounding the general's desk. The general saw this and nodded in understanding.

"How's the boy taking all this?" The general abruptly asked. 

Jack looked surprised. "Uh, he seems to be doing okay, considering he lost everything he probably had on that dead planet."

"He looks like he's taken to you well enough." The general remembered how the boy clung to the colonel.

"Well-" Jack shrugged, not sure of how to reply.

"I'm going to approve the go ahead for a return to that planet." General Hammond said. Jack nearly jumped out of his seat.

"Sir, thank you. I know if my team could just take another look around, we might find some clue-"

"I'll be assigning Doctor Clark to your team as a cultural aid."

"What?" Jack stared at the general. "But, we already got a-"

"Doctor Jackson is at present, no help to you." General Hammond reminded the colonel.

Jack's eyes narrowed. "He is alive, sir. And still a member of my team."

"I'm not writing him off, Colonel O'Neill." General Hammond held his hand up to calm whatever worries which gnawed at the colonel. "Doctor Clark's just a temporary replacement for your team. You may need one for any writing found. Plus," The general paused, wondering how Jack would take it. "Doctor Clark is there to find any coordinates that may show where the other survivors, if there were any, went. So…so that we may send Johnny home."

"To send him home." Jack repeated dully.

"It would seem to be the right thing to do, colonel."

"Of course, sir." Jack nodded slowly.

"Then it's settled. You embark at 0800 tomorrow."

Jack got up and left the room, not even realizing that he had forgotten to wait for the general to dismiss him or even saluting him before leaving. The general stared at the empty seat before him, not at all angry. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes wearily.

"What ghosts may come and haunt us all." The general murmured to himself sadly.

 

_When did the infirmary become so small?_ Jack maneuvered around the giant dolls that were all over the floor of the small, private room. It was reconverted back to a child's room, done so when Fraiser's daughter Cassandra was here.

Johnny was trying to pull the oxygen mask off without success. Fraiser, unperturbed by the boy's stubbornness, just kept putting it back on over the boy's face. Johnny scrunched up his face, wiggling the plastic mask around. 

"You know," Fraiser said casually, "I **am** a doctor and I have lots of yucky tasty drugs I can give you."

Johnny promptly stilled his hands.

"Good." Fraiser turned around. "Hello, Colonel O'Neill."

Johnny pulled off the mask and made a face behind Fraiser. A smug look came over the boy's face as he thought that Fraiser didn't notice.

Before Jack could say anything, Fraiser, without turning around, just spoke up.

"Very yucky medicines, Johnny."

The mask was back up again. 

Jack chuckled in spite of himself. Something about the stubbornness in the boy reminded him of himself.

"How did you do that?" The colonel sat down next to Johnny.

"I'm a mother, remember?" Fraiser studied the older man for a moment. "How long has it been since you had a decent night's sleep?"

"Can't remember." Jack said shortly.

"You know…" Fraiser placed a hand gently on his shoulder. "My threat can also apply to you, colonel. Get some sleep."

"I saw Daniel before." Jack ignored her last statement. "He looks bad."

Sighing, Fraiser reluctantly answered his question. "His body's slowing shutting down. Brain wave activity is still minimal."

"Coma?" The word sounded harsh in Jack's ears.

"We can't even be sure of that. There's so much we don't know about the human brain." Fraiser paused. "I'm not even sure if he can hear us."

"I think he can." Jack said softly. "Don't ask me how, but I am almost certain of it. Daniel is a pretty good listener when we let him." 

_When I let him._

Fraiser didn't comment. She just patted his shoulder again, murmuring a reminder for him to get some sleep and left. 

"And how are you, Johnny?" Jack asked quietly as he tucked the covers tightly around the child. The boy was looking at Jack with his wide eyes. There was total trust in them. It was unnerving. 

"We're going to find out where your people went." Jack went on brightly, "Wouldn't that be great, kiddo? You get to go home."

Blue eyes stared unblinkingly at him. The boy smiled shyly and tugged at Jack's sleeve. Jack cocked an eyebrow at the child. 

"What? You want a story?" The boy nodded eagerly as he saw Jack pointing to a book. "Well, I could read you one, but you didn't look like you understood the last one I was reading last time."

Another tug at his sleeve.

"Please, daddy? I'm not tired at all." Charlie tugged at Jack's sleeve once more.

_"Listen kiddo, that is why one sleeve is longer than the other. The general's been looking at me funny, wondering why one sleeve was on the floor and the other was so short." Jack pulled one arm in, dangling the sleeve. He smiled when the child laughed._

_"That's not true, daddy. They look the same." Charlie tugged at Jack's sleeve again._

_"Kid's a genius." Jack murmured as he shrugged. "Okay. One more story and then bedtime." Jack looked at the books on the shelf. "How about-"_

_"Something about a soldier, daddy." Charlie was practically jumping up and down on the bed. "Just like you!"_

_"No, not like me." Jack's eyes darkened. God forbid if like him. He would never wish the demons that followed him to follow Charlie._

_"Daddy?"_

_"How about Cat in the Hat, Charlie?" Jack asked lightly. "No soldier stories."_

_The boy looked a little disappointed, but he tilted his head slightly at his father. Unusually wise eyes looked at the man. Charlie, although clearly disappointed, nodded. He smiled sweetly as he snagged the worn book and gave it to his father._

_"Cat in the Hat is my favorite, daddy."_  

"How…how about Cat in the Hat?" Jack suddenly found his throat to be very dry. "I do a very good Doctor Seuss." 

 

"I can't believe you guys were going to pack my stuff away!" Daniel grumbled as he looked around his apartment. He had returned after being checked out by Fraiser to make sure Nem's mind device had no lasting effects. The man came home with his friends to find a disaster area. Boxes piled around him. He threw his hands up in frustration. "Oh my God! I don't even know where to begin!"

_"Daniel." Jack's voice was mild. "We all thought you were…ahem…well…"_

_"Dead." Daniel supplied the term as he opened one box. He yelped as he saw the contents. "My Mayan artifacts. Oh gosh, I hope none of them were cracked or anything-"_

_Jack looked at Carter. The two exchanged amused looks at the word "gosh"._

_Teal'c was silently helping Daniel shift some the boxes around, raising an eyebrow as the scientist opened each one with a moan._

_"Oh boy, what a mess. At least you guys fed my fish, although one of them are beginning to swim funny…Teal'c did you feed them too much? I…what a mess! There aren't any labels on some of them! Whose handwriting is this? What's obotes? Oh…never mind... it's Jack's handwriting. So that means they're photos. Great! This is going to take me all night! I should have just stayed de-" Daniel stopped, seeing the smiles faded from his friends' faces. "Sorry."_

_"Hey, at least I packed your stuff in Styrofoam." Jack ignored the slip. "Carter here was reading your diary."_

_"Was not!" Carter protested. "Well…not all of it."_

_" **What**?"_

_"Well, we needed to see if any that were a national security risk." Jack spoke up in Carter's defense._

_"We did not mean to invade your privacy, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c spoke up._

_"No, you didn't." Daniel sighed. "It is good to be back and…alive. But what a mess!" The younger man looked at his friends suspiciously. "What…how much did you read anyway?"_

_"Oh." Jack grinned wickedly. "Enough." He was delighted to see a red flush rise up in Daniel's cheeks. "Veery interesting reading, Jackson. Especially about-"_

_"I was young then." Daniel burst out. "She was practically-" Daniel stopped when Jack suddenly started laughing. Carter was pretending that the threadbare carpet was very fascinating._

_"You didn't read-" Daniel's face turned even redder._

_"Just about the missions, Daniel." Jack waved towards a box Carter was sitting on. "Those are your personal journals. Untouched. Your dirty secrets are safe with us, Doctor Jackson."_

_"I am never going to be dead again." Daniel grumbled. "Too much stress and aggravation."_

_"See that you don't, Daniel." Jack's voice suddenly became very stern. Daniel looked up startled. He fumbled for words to say. Carter saved them the trouble. She crossed over and gave him a hug._

_"See that you don't, Daniel." Carter repeated what Jack said. "I hated doing this. And once was enough."_

_Once was enough._

Carter blinked back tears that were threatening to spill. She looked up from one of Daniel's journals and gave a vicious swipe at the tears with her sleeve. Teal'c said nothing. He made a point to be looking at the fish tank and at the tropical fish swimming lazily about.

"We need to feed Daniel Jackson's fish today." The Jaffa said suddenly. He got the food and trickled a bit onto the water the way Daniel had showed him long ago. He watched as the fish swam upward towards the surface and greedily ate the flakes. "It would not be encouraging if Daniel Jackson was to awaken to return home to dead fish."

"Not encouraging at all." Carter agreed as she tried to concentrate on the journals again. When the words blurred once more, she closed the book with a loud thump. Teal'c glanced over to the woman with a concerned look, but said nothing as he watched Carter picked up another journal in disinterest. Scanning the journal, she suddenly sat up straighter.

"Wait a minute." Carter flipped back a few leafs to be sure. Her eyes glistened with excitement as she saw symbols similar to what Daniel had scrawled onto his notebook. "These look just like the ones on his book." She got up, her hands clutching the book like as if it were a talisman. 

"We may be able to translate what is on that planet. Maybe there's a cure in there somewhere." Carter didn't even have to continue because Teal'c just followed her out of the apartment. Despite their haste, Carter still found time to slip the rest of the journals back on their proper places on the shelves before closing the door. She wanted the place to be exactly the same for Daniel when he returned.

 

"Sam told me that story once." A soft voice spoke from the doorway. 

Jack turned around as the last word faded from his lips. Cassandra stood there, dressed in light blue overalls, her hair braided with pink barrettes. Jack knew she was just a child, but her eyes which stared at Johnny with empathy looked as old as Jack felt at the present. He glanced back at Johnny, tucked securely in the bed, lulled to sleep by the quiet, liquid voice. Jack opened his mouth to say something, but the girl touched her mouth with an index finger, indicating silence. Jack grinned; he couldn't help it. She looked like she was playing house, the child playing the mother role. The colonel shrugged, closed the book softly and stepped away from Johnny.

Jack left the room and closed the door, leaving a crack so he could hear what was going on inside. Cassandra watched the colonel sit down on one of the chairs lined up against the hallway wall.

"Mommy doesn't want me to play with Johnny anymore." Cassandra said flatly. She eyed the room through the crack. "He's not well, she said." With a frown, Cassandra looked at Jack. "Was he sick like me?"

The young girl was referring to when she was booby trapped with a bomb inside her, slowly ticking away and draining her life with it.

Jack smiled sadly as he shook his head. "No. Not like you."

"Like Daniel, then." The girl apparently understood enough to draw her own conclusions.

"We think so." Jack leaned his head back. He felt so tired, but it wasn't because of the little sleep he had. 

"Mommy's mad." Cassandra stated, startling Jack. 

"What?"

"She's mad." The girl looked at the door again, almost as if she could see right through the walls to Johnny. "She's mad that she can't see what is making him sick. And Daniel, too." Cassandra tilted her head thoughtfully. She turned to look at Jack. "Are you mad, too?"

Jack was taken back. Mad? He looked at the door and then down the hall which he knew led to the infirmary where Daniel was.

"You're mad at Daniel."

"No." Jack sat up straighter as he denied it. "No, I'm not mad at him."

"Yes, you are."

_Yes…I am._  Jack was stunned by the inner voice correcting him. He was mad at him for not coming to him sooner, for not trusting him enough to tell him, for… But he wasn't really mad at Daniel. He was madder at-

"But you're madder at yourself." Cassandra abruptly said. It was too eerie how the girl knew.

"You've been taking mind reading lessons from Doc, haven't you?" Jack accused lightly.

"Daniel didn't mean to get sick, Jack."

"No, he didn't. But it didn't look like he fought hard to stop it. Nor does it look like he's fighting hard now."

Cassandra nodded, understanding. Jack shook his head in mild amazement. He didn't even understand it himself and here was a little girl nodding like she did. She probably did, too.

"When did you get so smart?" Jack joked lightly.

"Mommy said it's a gift." Cassandra sounded puzzled as she repeated what her adopted mother told her. "She called it…woman's intuition?"

Jack shook his head again. He looked at his watch. In a few hours, they needed to go back to that planet. He hoped Carter found something. Before they did, though, Jack wanted to check on Daniel. "Cassy. I know your mom said to not play with Johnny-"

"She doesn't want me to get what made Johnny sick." 

"Yeah, she's just worried for you. It's nothing against Jo-"

"Against Johnny. I know."

Jack shook his head again with a soft chuckle. "Kids these days-" He looked at Cassandra and gave her a fond pat on the head. "Could you keep an eye on that door? I want to check on Daniel."

"Okay. You be sleep after that?"

"What?" Jack stared at the girl, who shrugged.

"Mommy said you need sleep. She said if not, she was going to stick you with a very big needle." Cassandra made a face. "Thought I should warn you before she does."

"Thanks." Jack murmured as he got up. "I'll get some sleep, Cassy." _As soon as I get my team back whole, I will._

 

It was the same scene as before. The beeping of the monitors was beginning to sound repetitive. Jack stood over his friend for a moment, feeling a strange urge to grab Daniel by the shoulders and shake him until he woke. Of course, that wouldn't do any good. Jack would probably do more damage than good. 

_But if he were awake now, it wouldn't do him any good, either._ Jack sat down; feeling the familiar hard back of the chair digging into his spine, his legs uncomfortably stretched out before him. The infirmary was quiet except for the monitors and the harsh rasp of Daniel's breathing. It was getting to a point where Jack felt a little noise was needed to fill the room.

"We're heading back for P3X791, Daniel." Jack said as he tried to get into a more comfortable position in the chair. As usual, he couldn't find one.

"We'll find it." The colonel continued softly. "Whatever's making you sick, we'll find it. Don't give up on us, do you hear?"

Daniel didn't reply. 

"Then when you're better, we'll talk."

Still no reply. 

Suddenly, Jack found himself getting very angry. "Why aren't you fighting this? Come on! You've been through worse. For God's sake, wake up!" Jack got up, his chair fell back. He leaned close to Daniel's ear. "What are you trying to avoid here? Some bad memory? It's not doing you any good here! Wake…up!"

Nothing.

"You never listen, do you?" Jack calmed, his voice dropping to a sad whisper. "I tell you to stay down, you jump up to the natives to say hi. I tell you to wait until we check things out, you go running blindly for the first…rock you see."

Artifact.

Jack could almost hear Daniel correcting him. But the man on the hospital bed said nothing. It was just in Jack's head.

"Colonel?" A hesitant voice interrupted O'Neill's thoughts. He whirled around to see a man standing by the doorway. Dressed in SGC fatigues, the stranger stood tall at attention. "I'm Lieutenant Clark of the Air Force division." He saluted, his brown eyes staring just above Jack's head.

"Doctor Clark, you mean." Jack said flatly as the man nodded. 

"When I'm not assigned to an military division, sir." The man motioned nervously to the room. "I…I didn't mean to barge in, but General Hammond felt I should introduce myself before we go on our mission to P3X-791."

Jack winced. Clark was an archeologist, too. He had half expected the man to protest the numerical tag given to the planet. Daniel would have started giving it some name instead. 

"Daniel, what the hell is this?" Jack demanded as he waved a report in front of the young man's face. "What is this Minos you keep babbling about? Where's the report on P4J-899?"

_"That's…it, Jack." Daniel's voice trailed off as he realized something. "Oops."_

_"Oops? What do you mean oops?"_

_"I mean oops as in I forgot that you guys insisted on calling the planet we explored as P4J-899 not Minos."_

_"So Minos is P4J-899?" Jack took another look at the report. "What the hell is wrong with you? Don't go changing names around on me! Bad enough I have to pull my dictionary out on Carter's report. Do I have to pull out my National Geographic magazine for yours?"_

_"I didn't know you read National Geographic, Jack." Daniel blinked._

_"It was a joke, Daniel." The colonel huffed as he leaned over Daniel's desk and pulled a drawer out. He began rummaging over Daniel's shoulder in the contents of the drawer._

_"Help yourself, Jack." The scientist said dryly. The colonel pointedly ignored him as he tried to find the correction fluid. When he did, he shoved it to Daniel's hands._

_"You got an hour to make it look like it supposed to, Daniel." Jack quipped. "I may be annoyed, but what do you think General Hammond will say when I hand it over to him?"_

_"Oh." Daniel rolled his eyes and put the folder aside._

_"Daniel, you only have an hour." Jack reminded him as he crossed his arms across his chest._

_"I know. I know. But I'm almost finished with the other report on the last mission to Thebes."_

_"…Thebes?" Jack raised an eyebrow. Daniel froze and groaned suddenly, dropping his head in his hands. "You did it again, Daniel. Didn't you?"_

_Nodding, Daniel flipped through the report he was presently working on and scanned it quickly. "Oh great, it's on every page!"_

_"Give it up, Daniel. Next time when we're designated a planet, keep that name."_

_"B-but that's so…boring!" Daniel protested._

_"Boring?" Jack stared at Daniel as if the young man suddenly began to fly. "Daniel, we're not here to be Christopher Columbus and discover America, we're here to-"_

_"Actually, Jack. Christopher Columbus didn't discover America, contrary to popular belief. It was really-"_

_"Daniel."_

_"Oh…sorry." Daniel looked down at his report and groaned. "Oh great, this is just great!"_

_The colonel chuckled as he watched the man flipped through the pages, grumbling as he counted how many times he used Thebes instead of its designated code. He grabbed a chair behind him and sat on, dragging himself next to Daniel The young man looked at Jack in surprise._

_"Move over and give me room, will you?" Jack asked casually as he reached over for the correction fluid. "How am I suppose to correct this report if you're going to hog up the desk space?"_

_A grateful smile came over Daniel's face. "Jack-"_

_"Hurry up and finish your other report, Danny." Jack continued as he ignored the gratitude. "Then we can go to debriefing and then get out of here so you can buy me dinner." Jack glanced at Daniel with an easy grin. "You owe me."_

_"In more ways than you'll ever know, Jack." Daniel said fondly as he remembered many times when Jack helped him out._

"Colonel?" Clark looked at O'Neill, puzzled when the colonel didn't reply immediately. 

"What is it, Doctor Clark?" Jack shook himself out of his daze to look at the newly assigned team member. _Temporary_ , Jack reminded himself.

"You can just call me Clark, sir." The man said politely. "I am under your command."

"Okay, **Clark**. What is it?" The man didn't notice how Jack stressed the name.

"I was asking if you had a strategy yet on our mission to P3X-791, sir."

Strategy. Jack suddenly didn't like the sound of it. It didn't sound like what a scientist would say. It didn't sound like what **Daniel** would say. 

"We'll be having briefing in five hours, soldier. We'll talk strategy then. You may want to get research ready for translation and fact collecting. From what Dan- Doctor Jackson had implied, there were a lot of cultural items to be studied." 

"Yes, I've read the report, sir." Clark replied without any real excitement in his voice. He was just a soldier, following orders, never minding the fact that he held a degree in anthropology like Daniel did. "I will be doing the necessary observations, sir."

"Okay then." Jack's voice sounded strangely sad. "We'll brief in five then."

"Five it is, sir." A crisp salute and Clark was gone.

Jack automatically saluted back, but when the man was gone, his hand came down fast. He had a foul taste in his mouth from saluting. 

 

Cassandra peered cautiously through the door crack and noted that Johnny was still asleep. She wondered if that was going against what her mother had asked. _I'm not playing with Johnny_ , the girl told herself. She slipped in without a sound and sat down next to the bed.

"You have to get better, Johnny." Cassandra told him. She pulled the covers back up to his chin as she had seen Sam and Jack do when they were checking on him. "I was sick before, and they were very sad." She looked at the breathing apparatus with a frown, remembering when she had to wear one, too. Softly, she told him how the team had found her and brought her here. She told him how they had found the bomb in her chest and how they had to put her in a deep bunker to wait for it to explode. Cassandra went on with a smile as she told him how Carter, not caring about the bomb, wouldn't leave her side. 

"You don't have to be afraid of them. Not Jack or Sam or even Teal'c. My mom will make you feel better and Daniel, too. You have to get better."

"They're sad again, Johnny." Cassandra said softly. "I don't like it when they're sad. I don't like being sad. I was sad when my parents died. It hurts when you're sad."

"S-sad." 

Cassandra nearly jumped when she heard the voice, muffled by a breathing mask. She made no move to stop Johnny as the boy opened his eyes and pulled the mask away from his mouth. The boy looked at the girl with tearful eyes.

"Sad."

Cassandra mutely nodded. The boy looked away for a moment.

"J-ja'k sad?" The boy wanted to know.

"Yes." 

"Want…want to see…see Ja'k." The boy slid off his bed, his bare feet on the floor. 

"You're supposed to be asleep, and Jack has to go soon." It was a mistake to tell him because the boy looked upset.

"Go? Where?" Johnny stumbled to the door, but Cassandra stopped him. She stood almost a head taller than the younger boy did. 

"He has a mission." Cassandra pulled at Johnny's arm to bring him over to the bed again. "He has to leave, but he will be back soon."

"No!" The boy shouted, tugging his arm free with surprising strength. He bolted and ran out of the room before Cassandra could stop him.

Jack nearly collided with Johnny as he was leaving the infirmary. He caught the boy as he slammed into his knees.

"Whoa! Where do you think you're going?" Jack admonished as he picked up the child. Little arms wrapped around his neck immediately. "Urk, hey loosen that grip a little, will you?"

"Ja'k no go!"

"What?" The colonel pulled back to stare at Johnny. "Did…did you say something?"

"Stargate bad! Ja'k no go!"

"How…you can understand me?" Jack still couldn't get over the fact that the boy was talking, a lot in fact as he rambled on about the Stargate. Cassandra ran into the infirmary, full of apologies.

"I'm sorry. He woke up and suddenly started talking. I didn't mean to tell him about you going on a mission-"

"How did you know I was-"

"I heard mommy tell someone. She doesn't know I heard, please don't tell-"

"Ja'k no go!" Johnny yanked at Jack's shirt anxiously. "Stargate bad!"

"Johnny." Jack set the boy down. He crouched down to look at Johnny right in the eyes. "I don't understand. What do you mean? Stargate bad? What do you mean by that?"

"Stargate bad." Johnny's voice trailed off as he saw over Jack's shoulder to the hospital bed. Blue eyes darkened with startling hate. Jack was taken aback to see such emotion in a pair of young eyes.

"Bad man!" Johnny cried out, stepping away from Jack. The colonel, confused, stayed crouched down as the boy stumbled back. "Bad man! People dead!" Cassandra, seeing that Johnny was upset, slipped back out to get her mother. 

"What? Who? Daniel?" Jack was stunned. What did he mean by that _? Daniel? Bad?_ "Johnny, I don't understand-"

"Bad man!" Johnny shouted louder. He bumped into a medical cart; cups and clipboards fell off. He picked up a cup and threw it at the direction of the bed. Jack caught it before it could fly across the bed. 

"Johnny!"

"Bad man!" The boy was trying to throw more things. "Make people die!" He picked up a clipboard this time and was about to throw it when a large hand from behind grasped his. Johnny shrieked and looked up to see Teal'c standing over him.

"Do not throw any more things, Johnny." Teal'c said flatly, efficiently taking the clipboard away. The boy gave a frustrated cry and tried to run away, but Jack recovered in time to grab him. The boy wiggled, trying to get Jack to let go. Johnny bit Jack's arm. The older man yelped but didn't let go. Johnny howled, trying to break free, all the while screaming that the man was bad and people were dead.

"Sir!" Carter arrived and froze at the sight before her. She nearly dropped the journal she was holding as she gaped at the mess in the room. Fraiser came in soon after. She took one look at the situation and pulled out a syringe. She went over to the boy, motioning to Jack to hold him still. As she readied the needle, she came closer, but before she could do anything, the boy suddenly shuddered and became still. 

"Johnny!" Jack was horrified to feel the small body grow limp in his arms. Fraiser retrieved a gurney quickly and made Jack set him down. She pulled back an eyelid and cursed- a rare thing. She lifted her head to shout for assistance when the monitors on Daniel's bed suddenly wailed. Nurses, alerted by the sound, rushed into the infirmary, pulled away from other patients. 

Jack and the others suddenly found themselves pushed out of the infirmary and the doors slammed shut in their faces to the horrible scene that was unfolding before them.

 

_"Stargate bad…_ _Bad man! People dead!"_

Jack didn't know if he was in shock over hearing Johnny speak or what he had said or what had just happened in the infirmary before they were none too rudely pushed out of it. Despite the double doors closed in front of them, he could hear the high pitch wailing of the monitors and the crisp orders from the doctor.

All of it summed up to bad. Very bad.

Teal'c and Carter stood there, as if they didn't dare sit when their commanding officer was standing. But Cassandra saw their faces and knew that they were probably in as much in shock as Jack was. 

"Sir-" Carter lifted her hand, showing the journal she had obtained from Daniel's apartment. "Teal'c and I…we…found something that may help translate those notes from the mission."

"Give them to Clark." Jack said dully, not looking at the journal at all. "Have him take a look before we head out."

Carter was stunned. "We're still going to head out, sir? Daniel and Johnny-"

"Will not get any better if we just stand here doing squat!" Jack snapped. Carter winced at the tone, mentally telling herself to watch what she said. The colonel noticed the wince and sighed. He reached over and gripped her shoulder for a brief moment, then let go. "That was uncalled for, Carter. I'm sorry. Look, I'm sure Dan…Daniel would understand why we are not staying. He would want us to find a cure."

"And Johnny?" Cassandra suddenly spoke up. She remembered how the boy reacted when he heard Jack was going through the Stargate.

"He'll understand." Jack said shortly. 

"He is a child. Our reasons may be too strange for him to understand." Teal'c said quietly.

Jack was about to say something when the doors opened and Fraiser stepped through. She wearily rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, the other reaching for her daughter's.

"Well?" Jack demanded, before he could stop himself.

Fraiser took no notice as she nodded tiredly. "They're stabilized. Johnny revived quickly after the incident. Vitals look okay for now, although I wouldn't recommend exciting the boy any further. We're going to move him back to his room now."

"Sorry." Cassandra murmured. Her mother squeezed her hand reassuringly. 

"What about Daniel?" Carter asked softly.

Fraiser paused, unsure how to word it. Jack felt his knees locked at the sight. If the room were to tilt, he would have stayed frozen on the spot. 

"It…doesn't look good." The doctor finally said, her professional tone cracking a little as she worried over her friend's deteriorating condition. "His heart rate has dropped lower. Blood pressure and electrolytes are falling. We were forced to put him on a respirator for-"

"Is Daniel Jackson going to die?" Teal'c asked abruptly. Jack whirled around to glare at the Jaffa.

"I'm sorry."

The room tilted. It explained why Carter suddenly had to sit down. It would have explained why Jack suddenly felt like he had to take a step back to steady himself. Teal'c still stood there, unmoving, but his eyes were dark with emotion.

"How…" Jack found his throat had suddenly closed up. "How long?"

"We can't be sure. His vitals are constantly changing, and there may be a chance that the steps we took could-"

"How long?" The colonel didn't want to hear false hope dressed up in medical terms.

"At this rate…" Fraiser looked down at her daughter's stricken face, couldn't bear to see it, looked back at Jack, and found her unable to look at his face either. "…Two days."

"Daniel." Carter whispered- her eyes went to the doors. Her shoulders slumped, slightly and she hunched over a bit to try to steady herself. Teal'c bowed his head and said nothing. Jack…Jack just stood there.

Fraiser hated this part of the job. Playing the fates for her patients, setting a clock to their lifelines, and telling their families what she couldn't do for them despite all their prayers. This was his family she was telling. _Daniel, if only you could see what this is doing to them. Surely if you can see this, you'd hang on fighting, right?_

_If only you can see Jack._

"I'm sorry." Fraiser said again helplessly, wishing the two words could actually soothe. But as always, in a project so riddled with danger, it was the only two words she could think of saying. She murmured something to Cassandra, glanced back at the team, and left to take her daughter away.

"Two days." Jack repeated numbly, barely acknowledging the fact that Fraiser had left. Before his friends could stop him, he went right back into the infirmary.

The nurses paused, about to protest that the colonel shouldn't be in here, but one look at his face, and they decided to say nothing. Instead, they slipped into the far corners away from the colonel to leave him his privacy.

Jack thought a person couldn't look any worst than Daniel had when he was first hooked up to all those machines.

He was wrong.

The face looked drawn and pitched as if collapsing from within. The skin had an unhealthy pallor that almost matched the sterile sheets tucked in tightly around him. Daniel's eyes were closed shut, dark shadows circling them. But there was no slight movement behind the shut eyelids that one would expect if one were dreaming. Daniel wasn't dreaming at all. He was in there, trapped in a pit of darkness-

"Dan-" Jack had to sit down all of a sudden. He looked at Daniel, hating the sight of his weakness, yet unable to tear his eyes away. "We're heading out. Back to that damn planet. We're going to get you out of this. I promise. You just got to promise me to wait for us. Do you hear me?"

The man didn't reply, but Jack took his silence as a yes. He didn't want to take it as anything else. He got up, gripped the slack hand, despaired that there was no answering response, and left. As he went through the doors and passed Carter and Teal'c as they entered, he just brusquely reminded them that they were leaving in a few hours and headed straight for Johnny's room.

 

Jack stood at the doorway, staring at the still form on the bed. Johnny was sleeping with the aid of sedatives, pale features hidden behind a breathing mask once more. As he approached the bed hesitantly, Jack could almost hear a lone gunshot and his wife's screams again. As he sat down next to the bed, he could almost hear his son asking him for one more story, could almost feel a tug on his sleeve-

"Oh God." The older man breathed as he bowed his head and allowed himself for just a moment to make believe that it was **his** son alive on that bed. To believe that the gunshot he had heard that warm summer day was just an echo from his military nightmares. To believe that it was his son sleeping before him, and that there would be many more nights when he would feel that tug on his sleeve again, and a pure sweet voice asking for one more story.

"Don't do this to yourself, O'Neill." Jack muttered harshly to himself as he took a deep breath- eyes still glued to the floor, unable to trust himself to look up at the boy and get lost in the illusion. "What happened to your great ability to forget?"

_Beer could make a person lose all inhibitions, make them forget why they kept silent for so long and finally speak. Perhaps, it was the surprising confession the colonel made about his wife unable to forgive him for the death of his son. Daniel, lightheaded from his one beer, asked O'Neill a question that he wouldn't have normally asked the man he hadn't seen since the Stargate was sealed up after the death of Ra._

_"And what about you?" Daniel asked softly. His glasses glinted with the reflections of the living room lights, making his eyes look even brighter as if glistening with tears._

_Jack looked like he was going to ignore the question and take another swig of the beer. But he looked at Daniel and saw the pain of loss echoing in the man's eyes that must had felt like the ache in his own heart. Suddenly, to his own surprise, he found himself talking in a soft voice that held a bit of harshness towards himself._

_"Me? I'm the exact opposite. I'll **never** forgive myself, but sometimes I can forget." Another sip of the beer loosened his guard and Daniel caught a glimpse of self- doubt on that statement. "Sometimes."_

_The admittance held little pain to Jack's surprise. He looked at Daniel's face, saw the sympathy there and knew that like him, Daniel had suffered many losses and wished to forget too. Acknowledging that sentiment with the raising of his beer bottle, Jack took another sip, and let his memories of gunshots and screams melt away under the alcohol._

"Only sometimes." Jack whispered, finally looking up at the boy. "Sometimes. Then a ghost appears before you and-" The colonel couldn't finish. He shook his head, wishing that bashing his head against the wall would knock some sense into him. It would probably only give him a headache. He looked at Johnny and remembered how the boy had screamed that people were dead. The colonel closed his eyes, remembering the horrific scene of lined bodies in a black walled room, one lone boy huddling by the door, alone and alive.

"You can't forget either, huh?" Jack murmured. The boy said nothing, but Jack knew. He reached out and brushed back light colored hair from his closed eyes. "Don't worry. It's going to be okay. I'll be back soon and help you. I promise." The colonel stopped from continuing further. So many promises. Jack swallowed, forced himself to look at his watch, and got up. He needed to leave now to keep those promises.

 

The Stargate flickered once and then disengaged. The SG-1 team, with their new archeologist, stood in the room again dressed in sealed environmental suits. Jack doubted the suits would protect them though. If there was anything out there, the team was already unwittingly exposed to it the first time they came. Carter made a small sound of dismay when she saw the damage. 

"The storms this planet seems to be suffering must be increasing in magnitude." Carter murmured, wincing as she heard a clash of lightning. The winds howled like hungry wolves, and the walls trembled slightly as a result.

"In a few more days," Clark calmly commented as he pulled out Daniel's tattered notebook. "This place won't standing anymore. Too bad." He stood there, waiting for Jack to give the order.

The colonel glared at Clark, wishing the man kept silent and wondered why the soldier wasn't doing anything. When he realized that the man was waiting for Jack to give the word, he felt an ache in his chest. _How many times did I wish Daniel to wait before I checked out if everything was okay first? Well, I got my wish…sort of._ Jack didn't look thrilled though.

"Clark, check out those translations here. Then, the ones on the right staircase with Teal'c." Jack barked as he dropped his backpack. "Carter, you and me on the left." Jack hated going back down there, but Carter needed samples and to take a closer look at the room where all the bodies were. 

If Carter was unhappy with the prospect of returning down there, she didn't show it. She just nodded, grabbed her equipment, and followed the colonel down the stairs. She noticed that he made a point not to look at Clark as he passed the man. At first she didn't understand why, but when she glanced back at the man and watched how he was taking down notes, she knew. The difference was palpable, and it left an ache in her chest that made her wonder if it would ever go away.

 

The Jaffa watched Clark as he made his notes quietly. The man made no sounds as he copied the symbols from the stone columns, compared them to the symbols similar to those from Daniel's journal, and scribbled down his translation on paper. Teal'c raised an eyebrow. He was a bit puzzled to find himself disturbed by the silence.

_"…Attacked when the suns rose." Daniel muttered as he furiously scribbled notes down. He leaned closer to the tapestries, squinting as another unfamiliar symbol appeared. "They came in…droves, in ships of…what is that word?"_

_"I do not know, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c replied in a puzzled voice as he heard the muttered question._

_"Oh! Sorry, Teal'c. The question wasn't directed at you." Daniel grinned sheepishly as he realized his friend had heard him._

_The Jaffa turned around and saw no one behind him. He looked back at Daniel again. "There is no one else here, Daniel Jackson."_

_"Ehh…I know." Daniel turned red._

_"Then who was the question for?" Teal'c insisted. He glanced back and wondered if someone was standing there before, and if so, how did he slip by him undetected?_

_Daniel grinned when he saw the Jaffa checking again. "No, Teal'c. No one's there. I was talking to myself." He blushed brighter at Teal'c's raised eyebrow. "I do that a lot while…um…thinking."_

_"A standard thinking process for humans?" Teal'c inquired. "Is it too warm for you here, Daniel Jackson?" The Jaffa asked as he realized Daniel appeared flushed._

_"No, I'm not hot, and no, it's not a standard human thing." Daniel laughed softly at himself. "I did that a lot in my school years when I went on archeological digs. Standing there alone in pits and tunnels, talking seems to keep the loneliness away." Daniel's eyes clouded for a moment._

_"But you are not alone now, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c pointed out. The younger man looked startled. He stared at Teal'c and glanced behind him when he heard Jack's voice in the distance. The colonel was complaining about there being no light. A muttered curse indicated that O'Neill bumped into something. Daniel broke into a grin._

_"You're right, Teal'c. I'm not." Daniel shrugged, "But it is a habit hard to break." Then he turned back to the tapestries and went on with his one sided conversation with himself._

"Teal'c?" Clark asked the Jaffa.

"You are done?" Teal'c asked, chiding himself for not paying attention.

"Yes, we can go to the room downstairs now." Clark said nothing about the translations he made, just tucked his notebook back. "Once we are done there, I can make my report to Colonel O'Neill."

"He would be pleased." Teal'c told him. The man gave him a strange look before he shrugged and went for the right staircase.

As the Jaffa followed him, Teal'c realized that in all sense, O'Neill wouldn't be pleased and for some reason, he wouldn't be either. 

 

"Sir?" Carter asked softly as she scraped some dust off the walls. She dropped the glass tube into the growing bag of samples. Jack was standing there, pulling a body into a bag to bring back for an autopsy. She didn't envy his job.

"What is it, Carter?" The colonel's voice sounded tired.

"I'm almost done here." Carter lifted her bag, but the colonel only nodded, not even looking at it. She winced as she felt the building shake. The tremors were intensifying. 

"Clark said this place wouldn't be here anymore in a few days." Jack commented dully as he pulled the zipper over the body. He stood up, stretching his legs and looked at the other bodies that filled the room. Carter suppressed a shudder, avoiding that view. 

"I wonder if any of them were Johnny's parents." Jack suddenly said. He scanned the corpses, almost expecting himself to be able to pinpoint them. He shook his head sadly when he realized trying to find their bodies would be useless. 

"Probably." Carter said softly as she got up and stepped away from them. "But there's no way we would ever know."

"There could be survivors." Jack remarked. "Dan…" Jack paused, remembering what Daniel had said when they had first arrived here. "Reborn. Left here."

"So they may have a cure then." Carter murmured, brightening a bit. "And Johnny can be reunited with survivors."

"Yeah." Jack didn't comment on her last sentence. He abruptly bent over, grabbed one end of the bag and lifted it. He grunted slightly, making a face at the smell and motioned Carter to follow him. The captain didn't look back as she picked up her equipment and followed Jack.

The others were already waiting for Jack upstairs. Clark nodded when O'Neill asked if he was done and started to say something when a large boom resounded across the room. The team was knocked off their feet as the room shook. 

Lightning flashed once more and struck the ceiling. It began to crack like dry leaves. 

"Carter! Dial us out of here!" Jack bellowed as Teal'c helped him up and took the body bag from him. "Clark, get through the Stargate as soon as it opens!"

"Sir!" Clark looked like he was going to protest having to leave his commanding officer behind him.

"Dammit, Dan-" Jack looked shocked at what he almost said. He glared at Clark and gave him a push towards the Stargate. "We're right behind you! Just go! They need those notes of yours!" 

Clark, not realizing Jack's near slip, nodded and raced to the Stargate. Carter shouted that it was active and hesitated as she saw Teal'c and Jack stumble again.

The colonel got back on his feet and shouted for Carter to go. The captain didn't pause a second time and just threw herself in. Teal'c and Jack ran, closer and closer to the Stargate when the ceiling…exploded.

Another lightning bolt struck the already crumbling roof. It caused the roof to bend inward. Pieces of black stone rained down on the two men as they struggled to reach the Stargate. As Jack reached the sparkling layer of light, he felt something slam into the back of his head and neck. He was too stunned to make a sound, collapsing into the Stargate, not feeling Teal'c grabbing him by the waist to push him through. 

 

The throbbing pain at the back of his skull told Jack that he was alive all. _Death isn't so loud, I think._

Loud?

Jack could hear a mixture of voices, blended into a cacophony of noise. Concentrating hard, Jack was able to sort them out. 

"How did he get here?" General Hammond.

"He must have woke up when he heard the alarms for incoming travelers." Fraiser.

"Ja'k!" Johnny.

"He's getting upset. Teal'c, help me take him back to his room." Carter.

"Nooo! No!" Johnny again. Jack felt his eyes starting to open. 

"Doctor Fraiser! The colonel's waking up!" Carter called out.

"Knock it off with the heavy metal concert, Carter." Jack grumbled as he opened his eyes and found he staring at the ceiling of the infirmary. _How the hell did I end up here?_

"Ja'k!" Thin arms wrapped around his neck. Jack winced at the tightness but didn't pull him away. Instead, he found himself hugging the boy back.

"Sir?" Carter's face loomed over his.

"How the he-" Jack felt Teal'c help him sit up. "What happened? And why is Johnny over here?"

"You were hit by falling debris, colonel." Fraiser jumped in. She whispered to Johnny to let go, but the boy shook his head violently. 

"Forget it." Jack told the doctor as he ran a hand up and down the boy's quivering spine. "He might just get even more upset if you try to pull him away now. Hey, Johnny it's okay."

"Ja'k hurt!" Blue eyes stared unblinking at the man. Jack found himself giving Johnny another hug. He pulled away quickly though when he remembered that everyone was watching. No one said anything. 

"Colonel, Clark found some interesting facts." Carter started. The lieutenant nodded, coughed slightly to clear his throat. They all looked at him, waiting for Jack to say something.

"Go ahead." Jack murmured. He sat straighter, one hand feeling his bandage. Wincing, he pulled Johnny away and made him sit down on the bed instead. 

"From what I can tell from Doctor Jackson's notes, these symbols are a derivative of Inuit symbols. Turns out you encountered them a few months ago with some scrolls, and he had been translating them in his spare time." Clark paused but continued at Jack's nod. "From what I've got so far, P3X-791 was agriculturally and technologically advanced. No mentioned of the Go'ualds though. For some reason, the planet began to change. The atmosphere was deteriorating. Earthquakes, winds, and-"

"We get the picture." General Hammond interrupted in an unusual air of impatience.

Clark nodded his apologies and smoothly went on. "Anyway, the natives of P3X791 evacuated to these coordinates that we've found on the ruins."

"Any mention about a plague?" Fraiser asked. 

Clark shook his head regrettably. "No mention about any disease that wiped out their population nor was there any explanation given about all those bodies down in that other-"

"Clark." Jack's voice held a tinge of warning. Carter glared at the Clark, silently telling him not to continue with that sentence, her eyes glued to the boy worriedly.

"Yes sir." Clark looked puzzled at their request but shrugged. General Hammond shook his head and dismissed the soldier. He studied the team, circling Jack's bed. Then, the general glanced over behind them where Daniel lay. 

"No mention of any disease." Carter repeated what Clark said, frustration in her voice. 

"We need to speak to the survivors then." Fraiser said. She looked at General Hammond who agreed.

"Colonel O'Neill, you feel up to another mission?" The general glanced back over to the doctor who reluctantly nodded. 

"We need to find a cure, sir." Jack said grimly. 

"And to get the boy home." Fraiser said softly. She didn't comment when she felt Jack's eyes linger on Johnny.

"That, too."

"Okay then." General Hammond made a quick decision. "If the doctor agrees, we'll have you ship out in eight hours after you've rested and after we get our results from the probe."

"Sir-" Jack started to get up.

"Eight hours, colonel." The general said. His voice brooked no argument. With that, he gave the rest of the team a curt nod and left. Fraiser lingered, taking Jack's pressure despite the colonel's protests, checked vitals, and then reached for Johnny. At the shake of the colonel's head, she withdrew. Carter and Teal'c, sensing the colonel's wish to talk to Johnny, murmured their leave. Fraiser, muttering something about an autopsy, gave one more concerned look at to Jack and Johnny before leaving.

Suddenly, once packed with people, the infirmary became empty. 

The colonel glanced at Daniel who was two beds down. His eyes darkened as he remembered what Clark had said. No cure. They didn't find one damn clue about a cure. They had only a little over a day left. All that was left was to go to the new coordinates. There they would find a cure.

There they would bring Johnny home.

"Johnny." Jack spoke up suddenly. He turned to look at the boy seriously. "Do you understand us well?"

The boy, startled, nodded mutely. The colonel, encouraged, continued.

"Do you know what happened over there?" The colonel asked slowly, studying the boy's expression. 

Cocking his head slightly, the boy thought about Jack's question. Then slowly, he shook his head. His voice was sad as he said the only thing he could recall.

"People dead."

"Yes," Jack swallowed to get rid of the lump in his throat. "Dead."

"Not here?" Johnny's voice dropped to a whisper.

"No, Johnny." Jack looked at Johnny, right into the wide blue eyes. "Not here."

"Alone."

Jack swallowed again, surprised to find himself unable to speak. Johnny bowed his head, fingers clutching the blankets with a fierce intensity. The colonel realized that the boy was fighting hard not to cry. 

"Hey." Jack nudged him to lift his head.

Johnny looked up again and sniffed. 

The colonel smiled wanly and tried to brighten his voice. "You're going home, Johnny."

"Home?" Johnny frowned as he tried to bring up a picture of the term. "Sand?"

"Huh?"

"Sand." Johnny tugged at Jack's arm. "Sand?"

Not sure of what Johnny was talking about, Jack just shrugged. "Who knows?" He ruffled the boy's hair, a bit surprised by his actions as he continued. "We'll bring you home, Johnny. And hopefully they'll make you better."

"Ja'k come?" The boy looked at Jack hopefully. 

"I-" Jack didn't know what to say. "Better get some sleep. We need to go through the Stargate in a few-"

"No!" Johnny lurched back in horror, nearly falling off Jack's back if it weren't for the colonel's quick action to grab him before he did. "No! Stargate bad!"

"Johnny! Calm down!" Jack tried to get Johnny to be still, but he nearly got a skinny elbow rammed into him instead. "Whoa! Calm down!" The man was worried that the boy would have a relapse. "What do you mean it's bad?"

"People dead. Stargate!" The child seemed frustrated that he couldn't get Jack to understand.  With a soft cry, Johnny pulled away from Jack. The colonel grabbed him firmly by the forearms, stopping the boy from running away.

"Talk to me, Johnny!" Jack demanded. "What do you mean? I don't understand!"

"Ja'k no go. Stargate bad. Ja'k no die!" Johnny was crying openly now. "No go!"

"Hey. Hey." Jack gave the boy a gentle shake to catch his attention. "I'm okay. I'm right here. I'm not dead."

"Stargate make people dead." Johnny stubbornly insisted.

Jack paused. "I went through the Stargate. I'm still here."

The boy sniffed, not quite convinced.

"Why do you think the Stargate's bad?" Jack asked quietly. "What happened over there?"

The boy shrugged, mimicking what he saw Jack do. "No more."

"No more?"

"All gone. Because I bad." Johnny sniffed as he bowed his head in shame. "Stargate bad. I was bad."

"No." Jack's grip on the boy tightened. "God, no. Not because you were bad."

"Ja'k no go Stargate." Johnny's eyes were wide and anxious. "Stargate bad. Ja'k no die."

The room began to fog as Jack felt moisture in his own eyes. Mentally yelling at himself to stop, Jack blinked and willed himself to smile reassuringly. "It'll be okay, Johnny. The Stargate is going to bring you home."

"No! Bad! Ja'k no go!"

"It'll be okay. I won't die from going through the Stargate." Jack tried once more.

"Ja'k no die!"

"No, I'll…" Jack swallowed as he made an impossible promise. "I'll live forever. Okay?"

Johnny stilled. He sniffed as he studied Jack carefully. The colonel looked back at Johnny steadily. Blue eyes cleared up and stared back with such open trust, Jack almost cringed.

"Ja'k…Ja'k no die?"

"No, kiddo." The colonel answered hoarsely. "Gonna live forever. Okay? You're going to have to wheel me around when I'm old and gray. Feed me oatmeal when I lose all my teeth."

The boy's face scrunched up as he tried to comprehend what Jack was trying to say. Jack laughed softly. 

"Ja'k…no die." Johnny's voice grew stronger as he decided to believe Jack.

"No die, Johnny." 

The boy lunged forward, grabbing Jack's neck in desperation. The colonel nearly fell back but steadied himself in time. He murmured to Johnny, telling him it was okay and wondered if the occupant two beds down could hear him.

"It'll be okay. You're going to be alright." Jack said softly. He pulled back when he felt the boy slump forward. Exhausted, Johnny just nodded to Jack but resisted when Jack tried to pick him up to carry him back to his room.

"No. Stay here." Johnny glared at Jack.

"Okay, okay." Jack threw up his hands, giving up. "But you're sleeping. Okay?"

Johnny nodded sleepily. Jack shifted over a bit to give the boy room. He sat up and watched the boy's eyes drooped to sleep. He glanced back over to Daniel once more.

"Bad."

Jack looked back at Johnny who was now looking where Jack was looking. 

"He's not bad, Johnny."

"Bad." The boy was being stubborn. Jack sighed, wondering what must have happened to convince the boy otherwise.

"Just go to sleep. Everything will be okay when you wake up." 

 

Jack felt the small hand in his, tighten. He looked down at Johnny, dressed in clothes Carter had gotten him. The boy was looking at the Stargate with a mix of awe and fear. Carter and Teal'c stood on each side of them, occasionally looking over to their team leader. 

"Hey." Jack said softly, drawing the boy's attention.

Johnny looked up. 

"We're going through. Okay?" Jack felt another squeeze on his fingers as Johnny hesitantly nodded. 

"SG-1, you have a go." General Hammond spoke into the microphone in the computer room. He watched as the team slowly went up the ramp. One by one, they were swallowed by the wormhole. Jack, holding on to Johnny, went last. The boy looked back at the embarkation room. The general could see the anxious eyes looking right at them before turning around to follow Jack into the Stargate.

"God speed, SG-1." General Hammond murmured as the Stargate blinked, and the technician called out that the wormhole was disengaged.

 

"Well." It was all Jack could think of saying when he got a good look at what was on the other side of the coordinates.

A lush green paradise welcomed the team. Soft winds, scented with a hint of fruits, blew by. Carter breathed in deeply. 

"The MALP probe said the weather here was comfortable, but it never said-" Carter's voice trailed off when she realized that Jack wasn't really listening.

"You're almost home, Johnny." Jack said needlessly. The boy didn't respond as he looked about the landscape with open curiosity. He tugged at Jack's hand, but the colonel didn't look at him, his eyes avoiding the boy he was about to hand over to this planet. 

"There is a trail over there." Teal'c pointed out. 

"Let's go." Jack said, abruptly pulling Johnny into his arms. "We shouldn't be wasting time."

Caught off guard, Carter and Teal'c had to pick up their pace to catch up the colonel.

Cassandra poked her head between the lab doors, looking for her mother. Fraiser was in front of the computers, translucent sheets with squiggly lines strewed about the desk next to her.

"Mommy?"

"Cassy." Fraiser smiled as she heard her daughter's voice. "What are you doing here?"

"Johnny's not here anymore."

Frowning slightly, Fraiser nodded. "No, honey, he isn't."

"I'm not sick. Johnny didn't make me sick." Cassandra tried to reassure her. Fraiser smiled again.

"I thought I was the doctor."

"Woman's…intuition?" Cassandra repeated the term her mother had told her.

"Better than any science known to man." Fraiser laughed lightly. She rubbed her eyes wearily and took another look at the screen. 

"Daniel's still sick?" Cassandra wanted to know.

"Yes, still sick." Fraiser muttered angrily as she looked at the autopsy report again. There was nothing traceable. No bacteria, no mutable gene, nothing. "Died of old age. Dam-" she stopped herself. Now, Jack got her started. 

Cassandra got bored of watching her mother and began shifting through the slides that were on the table. As she fingered some of the large legal sized sheets, the pile began to slide down.

"Cassy! Be careful, please!" Fraiser admonished. "Those are Daniel's and Johnny's brain scans!"

"Sorry!" Cassandra commiserated, although she didn't understand what brain scans were. She knew, though, that if they were Daniel's and Johnny's, they must be important. She stooped down and began stacking them back up again.

"It's okay. Let me." Fraiser murmured, needing distraction from the damning computer. She quickly piled the plastic sheets of brain scan charts on top of each other, overlapping into-

"Mommy?" Cassandra leaned forward when she saw Fraiser freeze midway. The doctor gaped at the pile she was making, her hands stilled.

"I-" Fraiser wanted to smack herself in the head as she saw the puzzle a little clearer now. "There was no disease."

"Mom?" The girl hesitantly poked her mother to see if she was okay.

Fraiser shuddered as if the touch had jolted her back to reality. She stared at the slides in her hands.

"Cassandra, I'm having another dose of woman's intuition here."

 

The team stared at the fields before them. It was a strange contrast. On one side, the fields were lush with greenery, dotted with tall trees, alien plants scented the landscape. On the other side, however, the land was sandy and dry, riddled with boulders.

"They're terraforming." Carter breathed. "The planet. They're converted the land into feasible fertile soil."

"Great. More veggies for everyone." Jack muttered. He felt the hand in his slip out. The boy took a tentative step forward to the fields. Jack smiled as he saw Johnny jumped when a bird with bright blue plume whizzed by. The boy gaped at the bird, looking like he was tempted to run after it when Jack shook his head at the idea.

"I think Johnny will be happy here, sir." Carter whispered to Jack. The colonel's smile faded.

"Yeah. Nice place, isn't it?" Jack murmured. 

"We were wondering when you would arrive."

The team whirled around to find a small group of children emerging from the trees. Jack, at the sight of them, lowered his rifle immediately. He glanced back to Johnny who was rooted to the spot. Silently, he motioned to him to come back to his side. But before Johnny could move, another boy came out from the tree behind Johnny. 

"Hello, young one." The boy looked like he was in his late teens and was dressed in a gray cloak; his brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail bound with what looked like woven tree bark. He smiled kindly at Johnny. Before Jack could give a warning, Johnny shyly shook the boy's extended hand. 

"I wasn't aware of a tradition that would require young ones to accompany travelers in exploration." 

"Johnny." Jack quietly called for the boy to come back. Johnny looked up and nodded, hurrying back to Jack.

"You were expecting us?" Carter asked. She released her grip on her weapon, feeling weird about pointing it towards a group of children. They were all dressed the same- in gray cloaks and barefoot. Some looked like they were in their teens. Others barely the age of ten. 

"The farmers told us of a metal man coming through the ancient gateway. We had thought perhaps we were receiving the others but knew that couldn't be possible. Then we saw the primitive device and realized visitors would be coming soon." 

Carter bristled at the word primitive. She suspected the survivors must have been more advanced than they were but to hear it out of the mouths of babes-

"We mean you no harm," Teal'c said as the other children milled around him, gawking at his tattoo on his forehead. The speaker of the group looked at Teal'c without any fear. 

"You couldn't even if you had tried, my son." The boy motioned the others to step away from Teal'c. He approached the formidable man unblinkingly. "I have not seen a Jaffa in a long time."

Jack shook his head. This was getting ridiculous. "Look, we need to speak with your leader...uh…village elder or something."

"You may." The boy nodded. "I am Atun-leyka."

"That's nice." Jack muttered. 

"I'm Carter, and this is Teal'c." Sam introduced as she smiled at them. "This is Colonel O'Neill, our leader, and this is Johnny."

Atun-leyka turned to look at Johnny. "Hello, Johnny."

Jack gripped the boy's hand tighter. He wondered why was the youth so fascinated with Johnny. _Does he recognize him as one of theirs? If so, why the hell aren't they saying anything?_

"We were at your old home planet." Carter was explaining slowly. The other children nodded solemnly as if they understood. "We found the location to this place and-" she sighed as she saw the children just looking at them and nodding. "Perhaps we should talk to your leader?"

"You may." Atun-leyka repeated. Jack was getting impatient.

"Look. Where are your parents?" Jack demanded. "Any grownups?"

The children looked amused, and they whispered to each other.

"Where is your council? Your leader?" Teal'c asked politely, not bothered by the flurry of hushed talking.

"You ask for the elder, and yet, you do not speak to me." Atun-leyka shook his head bemused. 

Jack snorted, getting more impatient with each second. "Listen, Atun- whatever. We-"

"Atun-leyka." The boy repeated mildly.

"Whatever." Jack didn't want to waste any more time. "We need to speak to the adults in your group."

"There would not be possible."

"Why the hell not?" Jack demanded. Johnny cringed at the tone of his voice. 

"There are none." Atun-leyka didn't look bothered by Jack's yelling. The youth seemed to take it all in stride. 

"Then the elder-" Carter asked.

"Is I." Atun-leyka eyed the team carefully. "Greetings."

"Oh shit." Jack breathed. _No adults. These kids are all by themselves here. That means no cure. God, Daniel._ Johnny tugged at Jack's hand, worried when he saw Jack's shocked face.

"Ja'k?"

"We…we…have someone here, who needs your help." Carter managed to say finally.

"Our…help?" Atun-leyka repeated. He looked at the children with a puzzled look. "In what way?"

"We found the adults of your world in a ruined temple." Teal'c stepped forward to explain. "Our friend is suffering from the same fate that befell your people. Including," Teal'c gently touched Johnny's shoulder. "This little one. He was left behind when you had fled your dying planet."

"He's one of yours." Carter said softly. She looked at Jack with a bit of concern, wondering why the colonel hadn't let go of Johnny's hand yet. "We thought we should bring him home to you."

"This…Johnny?" Atun-leyka cocked his head at the boy and studied him. Slowly, he stepped forward and took the boy's other hand.

"What…what are you doing?" Jack finally spoke up. Johnny didn't pull his hand back. Rather, he stared at Atun-leyka with open fascination. 

The group of children stilled, young eyes watching Atun-leyka. The youth murmured something to Johnny and stroked his hand. Closing his eyes, the youth grew silent. The team shifted nervously, wondering what was going on.

"You may not leave him here." Atun-leyka said finally as he opened his eyes.

"What?" Jack started. "What do you mean? He's one of yours-"

"We can not take him." Atun-leyka shook his head. "It would not be right."

"Would not be right." Jack repeated, his face growing red. Deep down, he was strangely relieved that the children here did not want Johnny, but to actually hear it said out loud enraged him. "What do you mean you can not take him?"

"Is it because we broke some sort of taboo?" Carter pleaded. "A rule we did not understand?"

"We can not take him."

"Then can you at least help us heal our friend?" Carter tried again. "He is ill, probably from the same disease your people suffered-"

"We can not. There is no cure." Atun-leyka said calmly. 

"No…cure?" Carter grew pale. She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Can you tell us anything about the disease then?"

"No."

Jack fought the urge to grab the boy by the cloth and give him a severe shaking. "You can't tell us because you don't know or because-"

"We can't tell you because there is no disease." Atun-leyka interrupted. "Therefore, no cure."

"No disease?" Jack stopped dumbfounded. 

"Our friend Daniel Jackson is truly ill." Teal'c pointed out. "After he had visited the planet."

"He is not ill." Atun-leyka shook his head. He looked at Johnny and smiled sadly. "Just lost."

"We don't understand." Carter said as the youth approached the boy.

"And we can not take this boy because he is one of yours." Atun-leyka took Johnny's hand and pulled him gently out of Jack's grasp. He whispered to the boy again, but Johnny only stared at him blankly. "He is lost too."

"One of ours?" Jack was getting confused. "You mean human? If he's not one of yours then-"

"What about the people in the ruins?" Carter jumped in. "They were all dead."

"No." Atun-leyka smiled sadly. "Just reborn."

"The people you saw are the people we are." One of the children chimed out. The others nodded solemnly.

"We had to reborn to survive the leaving." Atun-leyka said. He studied Johnny and shook his head sadly. "This child I do not know."

"Reborn?" Jack repeated. "You mean you all are…I mean, once were…"

"The people in the ruins." Atun-leyka nodded, heartened to see that the colonel was beginning to understand. "We knew we needed to leave, but we were all old; dying. To find a new home and rebuild would have never succeed with our aging flesh so we used our devices to-"

"Reborn. Oh my God, they…cloned themselves? They…oh…Johnny…" Carter staggered a step back, gaping at Johnny. 

Atun-leyka nodded again, approving of Carter's train of thought.

"We came here with our old memories and new lives." Another voice spoke up.

"We do not know this child."

"He is one of yours."

"Not ours."

"Yes, he is one of yours."

_One of yours._

Jack stared at Johnny. Atun-leyka gave the boy a gentle push back towards Jack. Johnny, not understanding, stumbled over to O'Neill. The colonel automatically raised his hands to catch Johnny from falling. His hands gripped the boy's thin shoulders tightly.

"He did not complete the process." Atun-leyka observed. "It would explain why he is so young and so lost."

"Johnny?" Jack whispered. The older man stared into Johnny's blue eyes. 

"Sir. Daniel…and Johnny…if what they're saying is true…" Carter stared at the boy. Teal'c went over to Jack, hunching down to look at the boy.

"Daniel Jackson." Teal'c simply said. The boy whipped his head towards the Jaffa.

"Daniel?" Jack said in a stunned voice. The boy looked back at Jack, stricken.

"Bad man." Johnny said once again.

"You're Daniel." Jack's hands held tighter as his eyes scanned the boy once more. "How…how could we…not see this?" The colonel couldn't get over this revelation. He looked at those wide blue eyes, looking hopelessly sad and bewildered.

"Daniel." Carter dropped to her knees to study Johnny. "Daniel, it's…it's us…don't you remember-"

"No!" Johnny squirmed under Jack's grip. "Bad man!"

"John- Daniel!" Jack shook the boy. "You're Daniel! Doctor Daniel Jack-"

"No!" The boy pulled free from Jack and stumbled away from the team's outstretched arms. He bumped into Atun-leyka who made no move to detain him.

"Little one, you must return to your former state. You have to leave this-"

"No!" Johnny's eyes were wild as he staggered away from the youth. Jack got up and tried to come closer.

"Daniel-"

"Not Daniel! Not him!" Johnny screamed at Jack, refusing the hand that reached out to him. "No!" Abruptly, he spun around and ran off into the fields.

"Jo- Daniel!" Jack yelled out, taking off after him. Carter and Teal'c, with only brief glances back at the milling children, ran after Jack. Atun-leyka raised an eyebrow, looked back at the group of children and motioned them to follow Carter and Teal'c.

 

_No! They're lying! I couldn't be him! Everyone dies because of him. I'm not him! I'm not him!_

Daniel stumbled, blind from the tears in his eyes and the obstacles of tall stalks in the fields. His small hands pushed them furiously away as he tried to run through. He could hear Jack calling out to him in **that** name.

"Daniel! Daniel! Where are you?" Jack sounded so far away. So far away.

_Not him! I'm not!_

Daniel didn't know where he was running. At this point, he didn't care. He could run until he fell off the face of the planet. All that matter was that he wasn't Daniel. He wasn't that person. It couldn't be possible.

The name was shouted out again from a different direction, and the boy clamped his ears shut as he ran. Stumbling over rocks he could not see, tripping over roots, over his own feet. The stalks lashed back at him as he rushed through, snapping at his face like accusations. They were screaming to him "Murderer! Murderer!" Daniel screamed out his denial, trying to tell them that they were mistaken in his identity, hoping his own voice would drown out their terrible voices, but there were never any voices there. They were just stubbornly echoed in his head as he fled.   

Suddenly, he ran off the face of the planet or at least, it felt like he did.

The fields abruptly ended into a steep valley. Daniel, too stunned, didn't even cry out as he felt nothing under his feet and the air began rushing past his ears as he fell. All other thoughts fled as he reached out his hands and reached-

A hand out of his tear-blurred view grabbed his hand, halting his fall with a jerk. Blinking rapidly, the boy focused on Jack's white face as he hovered over the terrifying drop.

"Daniel!" Jack panted, still unable to believe that he was able to lunge that far to reach him. When he heard the scream, his heart began to hammer so fast. He thought his heart would jump out of his chest and begin its own pursuit. Feet digging into the soft soil, mentally cursing his slow speed, Jack came out of the fields just in time to see the boy vanish before him. Barely any time to register what happened, Jack threw himself forward, not particularly caring if he jumped too far only to meet death. His one thought was to…reach.

The boy cringed at the name, but clutched onto Jack's hand with strength that came out of desperation. His eyes were like huge circles as he dangled there, linked to life by only the grasp of Jack's hand.

"I'm going to pull you up." Jack's face began to turn red with exertion. "Okay? As soon as you feel the ground, use your feet to push up."

"Ja'k…"

"Don't Jack me! Just do it!" O'Neill's voice was almost shrill as his eyes begged the boy to find the strength. "I can only lend you my hand, but for God's sake, you have to really want to come back up if we're to do this!"

With a choked sob, the boy kicked his dangling feet desperately, trying to find the slope underneath him for support. Inch by inch, Jack began to pull him up. Feet found rock, and Daniel almost cried in relief. With its sturdy surface, he stepped hard and pushed up so his other hand could reach Jack's. The colonel made a strange strangled sound as he saw the other hand and quickly clutched it tightly. The boy didn't say anything about the pain from the grasp. He just concentrated on finding more support underneath his feet. Above him, while slowly pulling him back up, Jack was encouraging him softly as Daniel kept finding more footholds. Finally, the boy was over solid ground once more. Jack immediately pulled Daniel into a tight embrace, clutching to the child like a hard won prize. The boy collapsed into his hold, sobbing as his chest heaved. 

"Oh God." Jack hoarsely said. "You scared the sh-…scared the shit out of me, Daniel."

The boy stiffened, and Jack felt him pull away. The colonel grasped the boy's forearms, forcing him to be still. Jack looked right at him, right into the blue eyes that had pleaded so in that hallway when the colonel had first found him. 

"Daniel?" Jack tried again, but all he got was hate in those eyes. He gave the boy a stern shake. "You're Daniel!" He could see it now. The eyes and voice of innocence that Daniel never lost. This was Daniel standing before him with his blue eyes so bewildered and sad. 

"No!" The boy tried to pull away. "Daniel bad!"

"Why?" Jack demanded, shaking the boy again. "Why? Why is Daniel bad? Can you tell me?"

"Because…" the boy's voice trailed off as his eyes filled with tears again.

"Because?" Jack's voice dropped to a hush.

"Because he's bad." The boy stared back at Jack defiantly as if daring him to say otherwise.

"Daniel is not bad." The colonel told him, his grip on the boy iron tight.

"Bad! Everyone dies because he is bad!" The boy screamed back at him.

"How do you handle all this death? I mean, I shot Go'uald before, but that was different. They were the enemy. It was either them or us but everyone else I knew- What about the others?"

_"What about the others?"_

"No." Jack's voice was hoarse as he realized his friend was haunted. "God, no. Daniel's not… **you're** not bad. They didn't die because you were bad."

"Why?" Daniel grabbed Jack's shirt and tugged at it as tears came down his face in a furious stream. "Why?"

"I…don't know." The man couldn't give him any answer because he knew no answer. If he did, would he be haunted with his own echoes of gunshots and screams? "God, Daniel, if I knew that answer, I wouldn't be drinking myself to a stupor on those bad nights."

"I don't want them die!" Daniel fell to his knees as his body shook with sobs. Jack choked at the words. He placed one hand on top of the boy's head, the other around his neck to pull him in. He bowed his own head into the protective circle as he felt the child's sobs like they were his own. But they weren't, because his son was buried so long ago.

"I don't want them die." The boy whimpered- his fingers still tight around the fatigues.

"I didn't want him to die, too." Jack whispered, holding Daniel just a little tighter, feeling the small head now cradled against him, almost hearing that voice once more, calling him-

_Stop it._

Jack closed his eyes briefly, trying to hear that old voice telling him to be still. He swallowed the lump that seemed to be permanently stuck in his throat. 

"Daniel." The boy shook his head against Jack's uniform. "You have to listen to me."

"No." The boy moaned, shaking his head. "Not Daniel. Not him. No want more die. No." 

"You are not at fault-"

The boy let go of Jack's shirt and clamped his hands over his ears. It broke Jack's heart to see the child huddled over, shivering, as he tried to pathetically block out what he was hearing. Jack couldn't find the words to tell him. To tell Johnny. Or to tell Daniel. The words he had wanted to tell his friend before that it was going to be okay- seemed small and insignificant now. It equaled the same worth of the words "I'm sorry."

_"I'm sorry." The doctor looked like he truly was. The man wiped his palms nervously as he began to explain why they weren't able to save his son, his salvation._

_Sara's sobs tore through the hospital hallways as she dropped to the cold tiled floor. Her fists beat the surface as she screamed "No! Oh God, no!"_

_Nurses rushed over to help the distraught mother, rushing past Jack who stood there staring at the doctor blankly._

_"I'm sorry." The doctor said. His voice suddenly stopped when Jack shoved his elbow against the man's windpipe._

_"You're sorry?" Jack snarled, not even realizing that his eyes were blurred with tears. " **You're SORRY?** " The man sputtered under Jack's tightening grip. "Why didn't you…why…why didn't you save him?"_

_"P-please…Mr. O'Neill. I understand what you…" The doctor wheezed, gasping actually when security came to pull Jack away. Jack kicked at the doctor furiously, his mouth clamped to a thin line, his eyes dark with rage. A silent man now, with clenched fists as his head and heart howled at the loss, denying the possibility, and accusing himself of the blame…_

"I thought…" Jack had to make Daniel understand. **He had to**. "When my kid died, I thought it was punishment for all the stuff I did before. That I must have been too happy." He pulled Daniel's hands away from his ears. "I lost **everything** when he died. **Everything**. Nothing anyone said ever made any difference to me."

_Accident. A terrible accident._

"Nothing." Jack whispered as he again heard the sympathetic voices in his head of consolers who knew not how to ease his grief. Nothing ever could. But then, Jack began to build the walls around his grief and sealed everything he had gained and then lost in a room of dark forgetfulness.

"I thought it was my fault…. I **knew** it was my fault." Daniel became quiet, as Jack's voice slowly grew heavy with old grief the colonel thought he had long buried in the darkest pits of his mind. "I wanted to forget so badly that I went on that first mission like it was my ticket out of hell." Jack blinked away the mist that seemed to suddenly spring up before his eyes. "I didn't even think about Sara, Daniel. I didn't even think of what it was doing to her. She was alive. But to me, everything had died."

"A-alone." Daniel whispered.

"Yes." The man nodded as his voice cracked. "Very much."

"H-hurts." The boy whimpered again, wrapping his arms around himself and shivered as if he was cold. "Hurt stop?"

"No." Jack couldn't lie to Daniel. "I don't think it ever does, but…but it'll get better."

Daniel shook his head. "Remember hurts."

"Could you teach me how to forget like you?"

"You don't want to remember." Jack whispered, his eyes frozen on Daniel's face. "Remember hurts? Remembering?" The colonel grabbed Daniel by the shoulders. "So you think forgetting will make it any better?" 

Daniel said nothing as he kneeled there shaking.

"It doesn't." The man's voice was harsh all of the suddenly. "I can forget, but then something always come up to make me remember, no matter how hard I try. And each time I try harder, it just gets worse. Do you understand, Daniel?" Jack forced Daniel to look up. "Do you understand? It's just going to get worse! Forgetting is only going to make it hurt a lot more later on! You have to remember!"

"No!"

"Yes, dammit!" Jack's eyes were wild with the desperate realization that time was running out. "You have to come back to us, and let us help you return. You have to remember. You need to remember. It'll be okay. We'll remember with you. I'll remember with you. You can't be Johnny anymore! You have to be Daniel again!"

"No, Daniel bad!" Daniel pounded on Jack's chest, little hands bunched into red fists. 

"No, he isn't!" Jack shook the boy once more. "Look at me! **Look at me!** Daniel is not bad. **You're** not bad! Daniel…you're…you're a friend." The colonel's voice softened. "You're a friend, Daniel Jackson. I haven't been able to say that to many people. But you…I don't know what it is about you…" Jack's hands dropped from Daniel's shoulders.

"Must be the Johnny in you." The colonel concluded.

"Daniel makes people die." Daniel looked at Jack desperately, begging him to understand. "No want Ja'k die!"

"You don't make people die, Daniel." Jack stressed the name. The boy needed to hear the name. Jack needed to say the name. He couldn't bring himself to call the boy Johnny anymore. 

"No want Ja'k die." 

Jack swallowed and tried to smile. "Not going to die, Danny boy. I told you. Remember? I'm gonna live forever. Can't get rid of me that easy."

"Forever?"

"Yeah, buddy." The colonel said softly. "Forever. You'll be sick of me yet." Jack looked at the boy. "Hey." Daniel sniffed loudly. "What's your decision?" The man held his breath as he waited for Daniel to answer. "Are you going to remember?"

"Daniel…not bad?"

"A bit of a geek but not bad at all." Jack weakly joked. He grew seriously as he looked right at the boy. 

"Daniel is not a bad person at all. I've never been prouder to say that he is my friend, part of this family. You have to trust me on this." The colonel's eyes softened as he stressed the last part.

"Trust me. Please. Daniel is not a bad person."

A hesitant tug to Jack's sleeve nearly brought tears to the older man's eyes. Daniel looked at Jack shyly and nodded once. 

"I…I trust you, Ja'k." Those blue eyes conveyed the faith the boy had in the man before him. Jack numbly nodded and finally said the words he had wanted to tell Daniel before.

"It'll be okay." Jack murmured as he pulled Daniel into a safe embrace. The boy wordlessly nodded, wrapping his arms around Jack's neck and gulped as he tried to hold back his remaining tears.

A soft rustling from behind them told Jack where his comrades were after all this time. Carter emerged from the fields, a bit red eyed and apologetic for interrupting.

"Sir?" Carter's hand touched Jack's shoulder gently. She said nothing about what she heard, but her hand which squeezed his shoulder told him of the support she wanted to give.

"We're okay, Carter." 

Teal'c came out of the fields with the children trailing and crouched down to touch Daniel's head gently. "Atun-leyka is with us. He has offered to return with us and help."

The child/elder nodded solemnly. "I will show you our devices. It will return your friend."

"Thank you." The colonel said as he got up, cradling Daniel in his arms. The boy didn't stir. Exhaustion closed his eyes. Jack put a hand on Daniel's back and felt the rattle of his breathing. Carter nodded with a worried frown.

"We have to go back and get Daniel's…body, sir." Carter said softly.

"Lead the way, Carter." Jack followed Carter and Teal'c out of the fields towards the Stargate.

 

Fraiser didn't waste time with questions when the team returned with Atun-leyka. When the alarms sang out, alerting of incoming travelers, she didn't bolt to the embarkation room. Fraiser didn't join General Hammond to greet the team. She knew where they would be headed for first. She waited for them by the infirmary, keeping a close eye on the adult Daniel's vitals. She had the brain scans in her hand.

"Johnny's Daniel." Fraiser curtly said as she showed the brain scans of the two, overlapping to an almost perfect match. "I don't know how, but I think it has got to do with that crystal you were telling us about-"

"We know." Carter said softly as she introduced Atun-leyka. "We just found out. The people on that planet…cloned themselves into children and transferred their memories over. There was no plague."

"The child can not survive with the adult still holding." Atun-leyka said softly. "And the adult can not survive without its child." The youth approached Daniel's bed and touched the hand softly. "There is no time. We must leave now."

Fraiser didn't even argue. There was no other alternative except for watching Daniel slip away. She kept the breathing mask attached to Daniel on a portable tank. She detached everything else. The team watched as she checked the vitals one more time before Teal'c took Daniel into his arms.

"Will he survive the trip through the Stargate?" Carter asked anxiously.

"Does he have a choice?" was the doctor's only reply. "Go."

"I have Daniel Jackson." Teal'c announced as he straightened with his ward. The adult Daniel was limp and frighteningly light in the Jaffa's arms. 

"So do I." Jack whispered as he carried the boy out to the hallways, to the embarkation room. One hand moved up to rest on the boy's head. "Almost there, Danny."

The staff pressed themselves against the walls, making room for the strange entourage running through. No alarms were rung, but everyone could feel the urgency as the team came through silently with their charges. General Hammond was waiting by the Stargate room, hands behind the back, silently watching the team line up before the Stargate. The general lifted a hand up, and the technician announced into the microphone the dialing of P3X-791 again. 

Sparkle of light and the wormhole was engaged. It was like déjà vu as the team stepped through the Stargate.

 

It felt like the place had never stopped shaking. Jack nearly fell as soon as he came through the Stargate. Carter shouted above the noise that the roof was gone. The last tremors since they left must have destroyed half the place already.

Jack felt the boy stir in his arms. Looking down, he whispered to Daniel that they had arrived. The boy said nothing, just anxiously looked at the ruins before him under the shield of encircled arms. 

"We must hurry!" Atun-leyka shouted. "I do not know how long it will be before all is destroyed!" 

"Daniel destroyed the crystal on that side!" Carter shouted as she pointed to the right stairway. "Could it still be used?"

"No!" Atun-leyka shook his head. "But there is another!" He ran down the stairs to the left, leaving the others to hurry and follow him. As they caught up with the youth, a soft hum, barely audible above the chaos, rose. Atun-leyka was standing by one of the columns closest to the doorway, a hand pressed against its surface. Before their eyes, the team watched as a platform rose in front of the doorway. It looked like the same one Jack had found Daniel in. 

"Put your friend in there!" Atun-leyka pointed to the platform and then at Teal'c. The Jaffa set Daniel down in the center, gently rearranging the oxygen tank so the breathing mask would stay on. 

"We await your return, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c said it low enough for only Daniel to hear.

Atun-leyka nodded and motioned Teal'c to step away. He then moved his hand up to touch another part of the column. In the distance, at the end of the room where all the bodies were, a column opened.

"The others are not working!" the youth cried out, the first sign of worry in his voice. "The boy must go to that one! Once he's inside, the device will begin to rejoin them!"

Jack didn't wait. He ran as fast as he could, stumbling as each tremor tried to throw him off his feet. 

"Colonel!" Carter shouted out a warning.

The man whirled around and gaped as he saw a huge chunk of the roof drop in front of him. The doorway arch crumbled, and he could see Teal'c pulling Carter and Atun-leyka back to safety. The rubble rained down, striking no one but efficiently blocking the doorway. 

"Ja'k!" Daniel suddenly cried out. The floor was beginning to crack in front of them, in front of the only working column left.

"Shit!" Jack leaped over, falling to his knees as he landed awkwardly. Hot flashes of pain shot up his leg, telling him damage was done. Daniel fell out of his arms in a tumble. "Go! Hurry up!" Daniel froze at the sight of the bodies lined up against the opposite side of the open column. The floor cracked and began to swallow up the bodies like a hungry demon.

"Daniel! Go!" Jack bellowed. The boy shuddered, stared at Jack and took off like a shot for the column. 

The colonel stood up, only to fall again when another tremor knocked him off his feet.

"Damn it! You're not going to beat us!" Jack roared as he shook his fist at the sky that was peeking through the crumbling roof. He whirled around and saw the debris beginning to rain on the Daniel on the platform. "Daniel!" Ignoring the pain on his knee, Jack got up again and leaped over the crack. He stumbled again and practically had to crawl on the heaving floor to reach his friend. Jack leaped onto the platform and covered the man's body with his own to protect him from the falling rubble.

"Ja'k!"

The colonel turned his head and saw to his dismay that the boy was not inside the column. He was looking at Jack with worry as he saw the rubble falling around his friend.

"Go, Daniel!" Jack yelled back at the boy, waving him to get in. "I'm okay! I promised, remember?"

"Not going to die, Danny boy. I told you. Remember? I'm gonna live forever. Can't get rid of me that easy."

"Promise!" Daniel screamed back and closed his eyes before leaping into the column. He shuddered as he felt the heat of the crystal come down on top of him. Hugging himself and repeating what Jack was promising him, Daniel opened his eyes again and watched the panel close out his view of Jack, sealing him into darkness.

Jack watched the column seal shut like a coffin and whispered back. "Promise, Danny." He felt heat around him, and he looked up. A crystal from what was left of the roof emerged and began to glow. Jack pulled back from Daniel and forced himself to fight the urge to pull Daniel away from the strange beam that came down on his friend.

"Do your job." Jack whispered to the crystal. "Just this one last time. Please."

The crystal gave no reply as it hummed over Daniel. Jack was about to attempt to climb over the blockage to find Carter and Teal'c when he felt the floor underneath him began to crumble.

"Oh shi-" Jack couldn't finish as he felt his feet began to dangle. The force of the drop pulled him down so fast that Jack didn't have time to leap onto the platform. He stretched out his hands and grabbed for anything. His fingers scraped painfully against rock surfaces until finally catching a hold a few feet from the opening that yawned above him. Jack tried to climb back up but his knee flared up and stiffened. 

 "Carter! Teal'c!" The colonel didn't receive an answer. "Oh shit." He gritted his teeth and tried to pull himself up with just his hands, but that nearly caused him to lose his grip again.

"It would really suck if I died here!" Jack bellowed out. 

The colonel tried once more to lift himself up, tried to dig his aching fingers in deeper into the sharp rock. He glanced down to see what was below him and swallowed as he realized his mistake. It was like looking into a starless night sky- dark and endless with no finality in sight. The prospect of falling forever, although highly unlikely, prompted O'Neill to force his legs up and try once more. Awkward boots found no surface, numb fingers beginning to lose grip-

A plastic-breathing mask dangled in front of Jack's face suddenly. The colonel almost lost his precarious grip as he started. He looked up and saw the owner of the mask- a white, thin face looking down at him with clarity and recognition.

"W-where…do you think you're going, Ja'k?" Daniel asked weakly as he extended a hand down to his friend. "You p-promised." 

"I did…didn't I?" Jack whispered back, his eyes glued to his friend's face.

Daniel leaned forward a bit more and grabbed Jack's wrist. The colonel used that pull to give him the boost he needed to propel himself back up. Like a popped cork from a bottle, he leapt out of the hole. The two men tumbled away from the abyss and hit against the raised platform. They lay there, gasping from the exertion. Jack sat up and grabbed Daniel by the shoulders.

"Daniel?" Jack asked hesitantly. The man smiled weakly as he tried to return the grip.

"Hi, Ja'k." Daniel's eyes glittered with unshed tears.

"Hi yourself." The colonel said gruffly and pulled Daniel into an awkward hug. It was just in time because Daniel shuddered and fell into the embrace exhausted. "Whoa, easy there, buddy." Jack awkwardly rose, favoring one leg as he pulled Daniel up with him. 

"Sam…Teal'c…" Daniel's voice was as faint as a breath, but Jack never heard anything more clearly. The colonel nodded towards the blocked doorway. 

"Over there, Daniel." Jack grabbed the man's arm and put it around his shoulder, the other arm slipped around to grasp Daniel's waist firmly, hoisting him to some sort of standing position. "Carter! Teal'c! You guys okay back there?"

"Sir!" Carter sounded relieved to hear the colonel's voice. "We're okay! Teal'c's trying to remove some of the rubble to climb over to you! How's…" A hopeful lilt came into her voice. "How's Daniel?"

"I'm here, Sam." The man's voice was barely audible for even Jack to hear now so the colonel answered for him.

"He's here, Carter. I've got him."

"O'Neill, I am coming over!" Teal'c bellowed. The sounds of rock being tossed aside easily were heard on the other side. 

"Well hurry it up, will you?" Jack muttered as he struggled to stay on his feet and support Daniel at the same time.

"I…I don't want…to stay…" Daniel's voice choked a bit whether from exhaustion or from something else the young man didn't know himself. "I want…I want…to leave…this place, Ja'k."

Jack nodded and told him in a gruff voice. "We're leaving, Daniel. We're leaving." With a pause, Jack forced himself to turn around to look across the room. The column at the end of the row was still standing amidst the collapsed floors, like an island in the middle of a dark sea. It was partially opened, revealing a tiny bundle of clothing crumbled inside. The colonel swallowed, trying to tell himself that there was no loss here. There wasn't. Johnny was- He wasn't- There wasn't ever any Johnny.

Only Daniel.

"Bye bye Johnny." Daniel whispered as he turned his head slightly to see what Jack was looking at. 

"Yeah." Sounds of footsteps pulled Jack's gaze gratefully away from the column. Teal'c was skidding down the pile of rubble; his eyes glued to the man Jack was supporting.

"Daniel Jackson." The Jaffa grabbed Daniel's hand in a firm grip; his eyes seemed to have brightened a bit. "I am elated you are well."

"Wow." The younger man laughed weakly. "He's elated. I'm so…shocked…I…might just pass…out." Daniel swallowed. "I…think…I think…I…will." With that, the young man's eyes rolled back, and the body went slack. Jack stumbled as he tried to support the full weight, but Teal'c smoothly took over and gathered Daniel neatly back into his arms. 

"Do you need aid in climbing over, O'Neill?" The Jaffa asked.

"No." Jack shook his head. "Let's just get the hell out. Accommodations really suck." 

"Indeed, I would not recommend a stay here." Teal'c looked around the room with disgust showing in his face. He turned around and climbed the pile of rocks, boots firmly stepping like they were stairs, arms carefully cradling the man. Jack watched Teal'c's back, remembering how it was swallowed up in the darkness the first time Teal'c carried Daniel out of here. He felt another lump in his throat, this time out of the utter relief that this time, they were bringing Daniel home whole.

Whole. Daniel and Johnny were once more the same. Daniel had always been Johnny as Johnny had always been Daniel. 

"O'Neill!" Teal'c called out as he got through to the other side. He peered over the top, one hand extended to help Jack. 

The colonel nodded and hobbled over. He began the climb, gritting his teeth as his knee refused to help him with the distance. As he almost reached Teal'c's hand, Jack turned around again to look at the column in the distance. 

"Bye Johnny." Jack whispered. He whipped his head back around up to Teal'c's hand and grasped it tightly. He allowed the Jaffa to pull him away from the dark room, away from the sole remaining column that stood there almost hidden in the with the small bundle of color in its cradle. Jack didn't look back. 

They were going home.

 

"Jack?"

The colonel jerked awake at the soft voice. He looked up with groggy eyes at blue ones, which were gazing at him from the hospital bed.

"Daniel." Jack sat up, grimacing as both his knee and back began painful twinging in protest for sleeping on a chair too long. "You're up. Couldn't sleep?"

"I've been sleeping for over two days already, Jack." Daniel joked wanly. "And a lot more before that. I-" His voice trailed off when he saw Jack's eyes darken. He bowed his head, ashamed he had brought up the memory. "Sorry."

"For what?" The man dismissed it with a wave of his hand. He studied Daniel critically, heartened by the return of a bit of color in Daniel's face, the clarity of the eyes, and the mere fact that Daniel was talking back to them. The younger man had roused briefly since their return, but his words were short and his tone distant. Jack didn't know whether or not it was because he was tired or because he was still-

"For everything." The whisper interrupted Jack's thoughts.

Jack studied his friend silently, eyes looking at the man, seeing the dull pain behind the blue. "How much do you remember?"

"Too much." Daniel's laugh sounded half-choked with tears. "Too much, Jack."  He paused, his eyes turning away from his friend. "As for him…not much. I…I remember some things, Jack. Things that were said."

"Oh." Jack shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Like what?"

Daniel went silent and Jack wondered if the man had grown tired again. He watched as his friend tugged restlessly at the blankets on top of him. Jack wondered if he should go, but he couldn't bring himself to leave Daniel alone again. Irrationally, he couldn't stop thinking that if he left, Jack would return to find him-

"Forgetting." The younger man whispered the word with sadness in his eyes that echoed in Jack. The colonel swallowed as he told himself to not cry.

"Oh."

"Of what you told me when you found me in that lab." Daniel continued shyly.

_"But wouldn't it be better that someone did find you when you're scared?"_

_"Why don't you let me find you when you're scared? Okay, Johnny?"_

"Oh." Jack didn't know what to say. But he knew he had to say something.

"God, Jack. I'm so sorry."

That took the colonel by surprise. "What are you apologizing for?"

"I know…I know…" Daniel's head bowed even lower as he forced himself to confess what he realized when he had first woke back on Earth. "I know Johnny…must have…reminded you…God, I'm so sorry, Jack. I didn't mean…"

"Charlie." Jack said the name, surprising himself on how easy it was to say it. He waited for the darkness to come, for the gunshots to echo, but all he felt was a sharp pain in his chest; so painful that it almost brought tears to his eyes. Jack swallowed and waited for it to fade, and it did, into a dull ache that he knew wouldn't completely go away forever. 

Daniel moaned, dropping his head into his hands when he saw the grief in Jack's eyes. "God, I'm sorry."

_This has gone far enough,_ the colonel thought as he got up and sat down on the edge of the hospital bed. 

"Don't apologize, Daniel. Not for…remembering." The colonel paused as he waited for Daniel to look at him again. "Never apologize for remembering." The younger man shook his head, not looking up, afraid to see what was in Jack's eyes- hate, grief, desolation. "Daniel, look at me."

"I…I can't, Jack." Daniel's voice cracked as he fought to rein in his emotions. Suddenly, a hand came down on his shoulder. Startled, Daniel looked up.

"It's…hard." Jack finally admitted to Daniel and to himself. "It's so damn hard to remember. It seems so easy to just forget, to let the memories and emotions take a back seat." The older man sighed. "Dammit, Daniel. I should know. I've been doing that since Charlie died and way before that too." The bed creaked as Jack leaned back against it, suddenly feeling very tired. "I more than anyone would know how tempting it is to forget than to remember. But it doesn't work, Daniel." The colonel looked steadily at Daniel as he continued. "It always come back. Then it's like a slap in the face." Jack punched his fist in his palm to punctuation. "It could be anything- a song, something someone said, a street you walked on, or…a child."

Daniel flinched. Jack noticed, and he sighed again.

"Daniel, I'm not going to lie to you. Johnny…Johnny spooked the hell out of me. It was like…it was like getting a small part of my kid back. But it didn't make me feel any better." Jack frowned as he remembered. "Actually, it made me feel worse. My dam broke, Daniel. Couldn't do nothing but remember."

"And it hurt." Daniel whispered.

"It did." The colonel told him truthfully. 

 "And it'll never go away." The younger man didn't look like he was talking about Johnny or Charlie anymore.

"No." Jack agreed- his eyes glazed over for a moment. "No, they don't."

"When we…" Daniel swallowed hard as he recalled, "When we came back from P7J-989, it was like I had never woke up from those machines. I was standing there with my eyes open and could see only…that place and hear them scream over and over again. God-"

Jack nodded. "Like gunshots and screams." The older man shrugged as Daniel looked at him questioningly. "It wasn't exactly the perfect homecoming for me either."

"I didn't mean to…remind you of Charlie when I came…to your room." 

"You didn't." The colonel told him shortly. "I…I was already remembering it long before you came. Those machines couldn't bring up that scene for me because I had already gone through the ‘what ifs' possibilities long before we came to P7J 989. Long before the Stargate project, Daniel."

"God, I really hate that planet." The younger man's voice broke.

"Wish I could go back, though." Jack said.

"What the hell for?" Daniel's voice was harsh as he stared at Jack in disbelief.

"So I could go to the ‘Keeper' and dig up every one of his god damn flowers in front of him and watch him squeal in horror as I stuff every petal down his throat."

Daniel choked as he struggled between laughter and tears. "You might as well bring two shovels because you're going to have company."

Jack chuckled to himself, but his smile faded away as he looked up at Daniel and saw that the man wasn't laughing anymore.

"I couldn't sleep ever since that night…" Daniel's eyes misted up as he talked, staring at the bare walls of his room. "I kept seeing my parents…then my foster parents…Shau-ri …I couldn't help but wondered if-"

"If you were cursed or something?" Jack said quietly, understanding. "Like as if maybe you were too happy and someone up there decided to punish you for it?"

The young man could only nod, unable to trust himself to speak. 

"You know what I realized out of all of this?" The older man abruptly asked. Daniel looked up confused, shaking his head no.

"When you do forget, you tend to forget everything." Jack smiled sadly, looking suddenly ages older. "Everything bad and everything good."

Daniel was silent.

"I know it couldn't all have been bad, Daniel." Looking away for a moment, Jack eyed the bag of books that were placed inconspicuously under the bed. While Carter had stayed with Daniel, Jack went back to the small room made for Johnny and picked up every scrap of book, paper and toy there, refusing to let anyone else do it. The man didn't know why he brought it with him. 

"No, not all of it." The younger man said. He looked at Jack and tilted his head as he wondered what Jack was looking at. "Jack?"

"Stuff from…Johnny's room." Jack said gruffly, pulling the bag out for Daniel to see. "There's some drawings in here that Carter said you made."

"Looks…looks like hieroglyphics." Daniel whispered. "I don't really remember doing that, Jack."

"She said you were putting stuff in your mouth constantly while she was trying to teach you…you know…to talk?" Jack couldn't help by smile when Daniel flushed.

"I don't remember that." Daniel insisted.

"You did." Jack pulled out a box of crayons, spilling them onto Daniel's bed. "See? Bite marks. Sure as hell wasn't from Teal'c or his Junior." He pulled out a book. "See? Corners are gone. I'm not even going to think of where they could be. This doll. What the hell happened to his eye, eh?"

"Oh gosh." Daniel was turner redder now. "Was I that…bad?"

Jack paused. "No…" he grinned wider. "Although, you were a terror when I first found you."

"A…terror?"

"Yeah, back in that planet when I had first…" Jack's smile faded a bit. 

"In that room." Daniel seemed to remember that moment. "All I could think of was that I didn't want anyone near me, no one to see me. I just wanted to run." Daniel laughed awkwardly. "God, I didn't even know where I wanted to run to."

"You could run to any of us, Daniel." The colonel looked seriously at Daniel. "You could let us find you."

Daniel nodded mutely; his hand went up to scrub his eyes. 

"Anyway," Jack coughed quietly as he continued. "You just ran away from me. Didn't listen to us, bit me and then I had to practically-"

"What?" Daniel sat up straighter. "I bit you?"

"Yeah!" Jack also sat up straighter as his voice went indignant. "Right in the arm, for crying out loud!"

"I…don't remember that, Jack." The younger man protested. "Sam didn't tell me. I didn't bite anyone else-"

"Oh great, thanks a lot. I was the only one bitten? I feel so honored." Jack drawled- crossing his arms as his eyes began to twinkle. "You probably didn't bite Teal'c though because you probably thought he would bite back."

Daniel laughed as he shook his head ruefully. "I still don't remember, Jack."

"That's okay." Jack dismissed it gruffly. He paused as he studied Daniel who was shaking his head in disbelief. "As long as you remember what I'm telling you right now."

"What, Jack?"

"We are right here. We're not going anywhere. And we'll find you, no matter what. Okay?"

"Going to live forever, Jack?" Daniel smiled sadly as he remembered what Jack had generously promised.

"As long as I can, Danny." The older man reached over and gripped Daniel's shoulder. "As long as I can." He studied the younger man and frowned. "But in the meantime, get some sleep. Doc's gonna have my head if she finds out that I'm keeping you up."

"It's funny, Jack." Daniel said as Jack helped him back down onto the bed. He watched, amused, as Jack muttered to himself while picking up all the stuff from the bed before tucking the covers firmly around Daniel. "I feel tired, but I can't get myself to sleep."

"What? You want me to read you a story?" Jack drawled. He looked at Daniel, surprised to see the younger man looking at him expectantly.

"Well..." Daniel grinned to show he was kidding. "Sam told me you read to me every night."

"Couldn't get you to sleep." Jack grumbled as he remembered. "God damn brat kept jumping on the bed, pulling books out and running around. Teal'c had to catch you at one point and carry you back to the room." The colonel glared at Daniel as the younger man chuckled softly. "It was the only way I could get you to sleep." The older man pretended to look upset. "Even as a brat, you wouldn't listen to my orders, Daniel. Never stay put for anything."

"Sorry." Daniel grinned, showing that he wasn't really.

"Yeah, yeah." Jack leaned back on his chair. He looked at Daniel for a long moment. Then he reached down to the bag and retrieved the first book his fingers grasped. As Jack pulled it out, he froze.

"Jack?"

"Cat in the Hat." Jack said. Daniel looked at him, at first puzzled Seeing how Jack's eyes darkened, he suddenly understood.

"Your son…he liked that book?" Daniel's voice dropped to a whisper.

"Was his favorite." Jack replied as he absently flipped through the pages. "I still have it somewhere at home, all taped up and everything."

"Sorry." 

Jack looked up and smiled. "Nothing to be sorry about, Daniel. It was…a good thing to remember."

The two men went silent for a moment. Daniel wondered if he should just pretend to sleep and let Jack have his privacy, but Jack suddenly spoke up.

"Apparently, you liked this book, too when I read it to you." Jack opened the book slowly. "Close your eyes, Daniel."

"You're going to read me Cat in the Hat?" Daniel asked doubtfully.

"You're lucky this is a private room or I'd never live this down." The colonel told him gruffly as he turned the first page.

"Jack, you don't have to-"

"I did a pretty good Doctor Seuss, Daniel." Jack said softly. "Always got my kid to sleep immediately after. Trust me, this will work."

"I guess anything is better than those sedatives." The younger man joked as he closed his eyes. He opened one eye though as he watched Jack touch the pages with his fingers.

"You're peeking. Go to sleep." Jack began to read from the first page, his voice rough. Daniel smiled to himself, vaguely remembering that same voice from somewhere. He closed his eyes and just listened.

Jack let his voice trailed off after the tenth page when he saw Daniel's chest rise and fall in deep sleep. He smiled softly as he closed the book.

"Never fails." Jack whispered in a smug voice. He stretched out, feeling every bit of the days that had gone by. He turned around and eyed the cot set out against the wall, just across from Daniel's bed. Fraiser had set it up there when it became apparent that Jack wasn't going to go home any time soon while his friend was still in the infirmary. After muttering threats of big needles and grumbling about big people needing sleep too, Fraiser finally relented and set up a cot in the room.

The colonel got up and sat on the cot, his eyes glued to his sleeping friend. When he was sure that Daniel was really asleep, Jack yawned. The colonel could feel his sight blur in weariness, and his arms grew heavy with strain. He swung his legs over and lay there on the cot, staring at the ceiling, listening to the steady breathing of his friend. Jack knew now that Daniel would wake up the next day. That thought made Jack's resolve melt away to a languid state. As he felt his eyes close, Jack felt a tug on his sleeve and the soft whisper of a sweet voice asking for one more story.

"Night, Daniel." Jack called out, knowing he wouldn't get a reply but also knowing it was okay. He paused and said in a lower voice. "Night, Johnny."

The room faded out of his view as his eyes blinked wearily and started to close. Jack called out to one more in his mind before being carried away to sleep. 

_Good night, Charlie._

 


End file.
